Total Surrender!!

Total Surrender....When I see these words and most of you would agree this could be a scary thing. It seems like such a commitment. It seems like something we can't fathom doing. It seems like something we are too busy to do...
This weekend was our Women's Ministry Weekend. I so look forward to this weekend every year. It is a time that my faith is renewed and I always walk away with something! This year the theme was Yes Lord...Total Surrender!! To be honest, I have known this was the theme for sometime now because I am on the leadership team but I haven't really set down and thought about it. I have not let it sink into my brain like it should have been. The speaker, Carol Kent, was out of this world! So amazing and if you have not heard of her, I suggest you look her up. She has an unbelievable story that will touch your heart in many ways.
One of her books is called When I Lay My Issac Down. This goes along with our theme. We all go through things (We are calling these things Issac) that seem totally impossible to handle or even just everyday things. God's whole plan is for us to lay them down for him,give them to him, surrender them...but why is this so difficult for us??? This weekend has opened my eyes and shown me that I have a hard time "laying my Issac down". Yes..I am a Christian. Yes..I Love Jesus..Yes Matthew and I try very hard to live our life for God, but we are human and there are things we fail at. I am a very "controlling" person, and I don't mean this in a mean or ugly way. I like having control over my kids and what they are doing. I like having control over the family calander. I just like thinking I have control of life, but as most of you know I learned with Hudson I can not have full control! God slapped me in the face during that time that I am not in control..He is! I was everything but in control in that situation. My oldest was having to be taken care of by grandparents. My newborn baby was being taken care of by doctors and nurses. I had no control! This was tough but I know God was teaching me. I have learned also that  I am the type of person who wants to lay just the leg of Issac down, not the whole thing. I have not been fully laying them down for God. I have been partially giving them and then trying to take care of the rest. That is not how it is suppose to be. We are suppose to have TOTAL surrender, not half or just a leg! I can openly say this weekend and the events I attended truly showed me some things I need to work on. This morning at church, I took the opportunity to stand in front of the church and completely lay "my Isaacs" down...Yes, Lord..Total Surrender! I give them to you and trust that you will take care of them!
So if you have any "Isaacs" you need to lay down I promise if you will, you will feel so much better knowing that God is taking care of it and that you don't have to worry about it anymore!

Please keep Hudson in your prayers..We are still dealing with sinus junk and its horrible. We are going to call doctors in the morning to see what else we can do!!