Currently...

Currently I am.....

Reading

Sinners and the Sea: The Untold Story of Noah's Wife

I absolutely love books like this. Some of my favorite reads are about people in the Bible. One of my favorite books is Havah: The Story of Eve. Such a good read. This reminds me a lot of it. I feel like it kind of opens our eyes to what it was like back then! 

Watching

Designated Survivor

Matthew and I were watching 24. Such a good show, but Matthew got burned out on it. I will say that 24 gets tiring. One season is 24 episodes, and by the end you are worn out mentally. We both really like Kiefer Sutherland, so I was happy that we found this show. The title basically tells what the show is about. He is the designated survivor for the president! Watch it..you won't be sorry.

Eating

If you know me, I am typically on some kind of diet. I hop from one to the next and have literally tried every kind of diet there is. Currently, I am low "carbing" it. I have actually stuck this out longer than any other diet/lifestyle/eat habit I have ever had. I don't really have a rhyme or reason to it. The last couple of months, I have been on a carb binge, eating everything in sight. I had to stop because the jeans are getting too tight, and I refuse to buy a bigger size. Back to the grind! Low Carb/Keto here I am...

Wearing

Right now, I am currently down on my closet! I am not sure what is wrong, but I am not liking anything I own. Do you ever go through this? I am really good about keeping things for years. Seriously, some of the shirts that I have, I have been wearing for 5 years. I am in dire need of a closet overhaul, but I don't even know where to start? Before I became a mom, I was some what trendy when it came to clothes..since then Yoga pants, and big shirts have become my trend??

Drinking

Water, Coffee, and Plexus Pink Drink

Planning

I am always planning trips to Disney, I just need the funds to go! LOL    We are for sure going to the beach with Matthew's mom this summer, so our thing now is trying to figure out what we want to do with just the 4 of us! Disney? Cruise? We have toyed around with taking a Carnival Cruise. We have done the Disney Cruise and enjoyed it! We learned alot about cruises and would know what to expect for the next time.  Matthew and I have also talked about flying out to Vegas for 3 days just to see what it is all about. We don't gamble, so basically we would be sight-seeing and eating! 

Is there something that you are currently doing that I need to know about to add to my list?? 

Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Lots of love..

Megan Marie Cohn

I am Megan Marie Cohn. I was born September 5th, 1986 in Batesville, AR. My mom, Dana Bennett, and dad, Kenny Bennett were just babies themselves when they welcomed me into the world. I love the story they have. Two totally different worlds coming together to form a family! I am happy to say that they are still married today! I know they have had some rough times, but I thank God everyday that they have been able to look past their differences.
We lived in Cave City, AR until Dad took a job in Searcy, Ar. It was the summer before I started 2nd grade. I remember the first day of school so vividly. Momma was holding my hand and the closer we got to the door the tighter my grip on her was. That was in 1994, and 10 years later in 2004, I was walking across the stage getting my diploma from Searcy High School. I would say that my years in school were pretty good. Some years better than others. Probably the worst thing I ever dealt with was mean girls. I wish I could go back to my younger self and tell her not to worry about any of them. Once you get out of school, you never see any of them again. Its not worth the stress. I did walk away from Searcy High School with people who will always be in my heart. Do I see them often? No not at all. Even if I don't see them they are ones who I carry daily with me. (Audra, Amy, Sarah)
Momma and Daddy never had any more kids. It was just us! The three of us. Things were simple. They both worked hard for everything we had. They taught me responsibility. I got a job as soon as I was able. Thank you Ricky for hiring me when I was 13 at Sunrise Honda! ;) Honestly,  there was never a time I was without a job until I had Jagger and became a stay-at-home mommy. They taught me honesty, integrity, compassion, hard work, and great love for music/movies and a good book! I did not grow up in a home where we went to church regularly. Momma said when we moved from Cave City, she just never found a church that she wanted to call "home". She did continue to do her best to teach me about God's love for me. I did attend VBS almost every year, and did manage to go to church camp with friends. This is when my love for Jesus started. Did I put him first for all those years? NO. I lived my life with him on the very far back burner. Not until Matthew and I got married, did I decide that I wanted him to be front and center. I wanted my home to be centered around HIM. I wanted my kids to grow up in a home that loves HIM and isn't afraid to show it!
Growing up, I never really saw myself as a mom. I never really wanted kids. I didn't really like being around kids. Maybe it's because I was an only and it was just a "grown up" environment. The moment I laid eyes on Jagger, I knew God had a different plan for me. If possible, I would have more than the two we have. I would love to adopt. Even before I had kids, I have felt led to adopt. I can't explain it, it's just something that has always been there. I have always felt led to go on mission trips. Why have I gone? I have no idea...It's on my bucket list and one day I will.
So, who am I? Who is Megan Marie Cohn.....
I am a mother (Thank you Jagger and Hudson)
I am a wife (Matthew, I am so glad had plans for us)
I am a daughter
I am a friend
I am a Jesus lover
I am a sinner (I mess up every day)
I am a prayer warrior
I am a book lover (sometimes obsessive)
I am a learner (I LOVE to learn about things and learn new things)
I am cook (one of my favorite types of therapy)
I am a worrier
I am a lover (I love to love on people...need a hug or a smile I am your girl)
I am a Southern girl (I am proud of my Southern roots)
I am a fixer
I am a honest person (Don't ask me unless you want the truth)
I am a controller (I like to be in control)
I am a Disney lover (sorry, but not sorry... I need to know when I can go back to Disney!)
I am a fan of cozy days by the fire with a good book
I am a foodie (food is what motivates me! Its why I go on vacation)
I am not good at controlling my temper (working on it)
I am not good at loving myself fully (I pick myself a part)
I am not good at patience (working on it)
I am not good at house work (who is?)
I am not good at rejection ( I just want to be loved and accepted)
I AM ME!!!!
I am so grateful for the life that God has given me. The good, bad and in between. I know each and every moment has made me the woman I am today.

I like to dance or at least pretend I can dance!! LOL 

Sorry Jen and Nana...I had to...Such a fun night! LOL 

Hope everyone has a blessed day!
Lots of love....

Ugly Monster

Daylight savings time...Yuck! Not my favorite week of the year. I think it actually gives me anxiety! I need that extra hour. LOL and then to top it off, we wake up today with it being dark and rainy! Really? Come on, we are all struggling enough. 

Anywho, today's post may not be the happiest post you have ever read, but it is something that I feel needs to be shared. We all have battles we face in life. Alcohol, anger, lust, faithfulness, trust, and many things in between. My battle is anxiety and depression. I call it the "ugly monster". 

This monster has been a part of me since I was little. I honestly didn't think that I had anxiety issues when I was little, but the older I have gotten I just realized that it showed up in different forms. Weather use to give me severe anxiety. I mean to the point that if a cloud came up in the sky, I would be crying in the closet. After getting over the weather, Hurricane Katrina hit, anxiety hit majorly over gas prices, and other things that I could not control.  Presidential elections, end of the world, death, chaos in the world, kids committing suicide, and everything else in between. 

As an adult, the first real time that the "ugly monster" reared it's ugly head was right after I had Jagger. I had no idea what was going on with me. I hit rock bottom, and had no clue what to do. This was the first time, I had to get medical help. I remember being so embarrassed going to a doctor to get help. I had went to our pastor, and he was the one that told me there was nothing to be ashamed of. Getting medical help for this did not make me any less of a Christian. (yes, that was something else I was battling in my mind! How could I be a Christian. have a relationship with Christ but still have depression and anxiety?) The doctor was so good to me. I remember filling out a survey about myself and things that I had faced within that year.  Marriage, moving to a new state/home, death of a grandparent, becoming a stay at home mom after years of working, and a new baby. I was sitting in the doctor's office crying, asking, "what is wrong with me?" The doctor went on to explain that just facing three of these was enough to throw a person off, let alone 5 of them. I left there feeling better just knowing that there was a reason I was feeling crazy. I started medicine, and began the process of healing. About a year later, I was off of medicine and feeling much better. The next few years were not bad. I do not remember any major times the ugly monster came out to show his face. Then came Hudson. With my history, the doctors immediately put me on medicine. I am beyond happy that they did, because I had no idea what we were fixing to face. It was a long couple of years!! I felt like most of those years were truly spent just focusing on Hudson and his health. Its so weird because at times I look back and do not remember much about him being little. I don't remember a lot of his firsts? (this gives me anxiety) I don't remember playing in the floor with him as a baby. Was it because we were so caught up in his health? Who knows. I just thank God that we are were we are today. He is an amazing fighter, who gives me inspiration every day. 

The last few years my battle with the monster comes and go. There is no rhyme or  reason really. I can go months without any problems and then boom, he comes out to play. Some times its extremely easy to push him away, and other times it's a struggle. Back in October, I hit rock bottom again. My uncle passed away and it brought out a lot. Panic attacks like non-other. Waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, shaking uncontrollably, and crying that wouldn't stop. Fear of being alone. Obsessive thoughts that would NOT go away. I literally clung to my bible during that time. I would sit in the chair and hold it. Many times, I had no idea what to say except the name Jesus. Thank God he brought me out of that ugly time. It was a long couple of weeks. I really have no explanation of why it happened. I just know it was real. Winter has been on hard on me this. I am not really sure why. Possibly the thought of my uncle lingering in the back of my mind, and now we are facing new problems with our kiddos. This past weekend, I was in bed all weekend with my mind going fifty million different places. I just wanted to sleep. If I am a sleep then I don't have to deal with my mind. I don't have to deal with not being the best mom I can. I don't have to deal with explaining why I the tears are there for no reason. 

Am I proud of the "ugly monster" I face? No. There are many days I question, why me? My life is amazing. I have a husband who adores me and our kids. I have two precious boys, who are beyond healthy. I am surrounded by family and friends who show me more love and support than I deserve. So why me? I have no answer for that. I do know that it is not something I want. I pray daily that God will heal me from this and that this monster will never show his ugly face again. Until then, my main goal is to face each day knowing that I have a loving Savior who will never leave my side. I want so many others that have an "ugly monster" to know that they are not alone. Talk about it. I know its hard and many people want to hide it, but that doesn't help the situation. Dig into scripture. Memorize. Memorize. Memorize. When the ugly monster does come out, you have a way to fight! Anxiety and Depression are a real thing. It is something that unless you face it, you will not understand it. It's as real as any other disease out there. If you know anyone or you face this, please know you are not alone. 

Hope everyone has a super day!

Lots of love.....

Weekend Recap

I am SO SO happy that the sun is shining!! I almost forgot what the sunshine looked like. No really, my family has been straight stir crazy over all the rain. My kids enjoy being outside, and there has been no outside. There has been more pouting, bickering, laziness, and the "don't want tos" in our house lately. I one hundred percent blame this on the weather. Ok, enough about the weather....This weekend was a pretty normal weekend. Saturday it rained all morning, so we watched a really good football movie with our boys. We love to pile on the couch together and watch a good movie. I bought a subscription to Pure Flix. It's very similar to Netflix except everything is Christian based. All the movies are clean and it just gives me a peace of mind that we are watching something not full of sex, drugs, and vulgar language. The movie we watched is called Hometown Legend. It is basically your typical football movie. The local football team is having a loosing streak, so an old football coach comes back to help the team get back on their feet. It was good, and both my boys enjoyed it!
After we watched the movie, the weather finally cleared off, so both boys were outside. I finished some chores around the house, and then read some in my book. We had plans that night to go eat craw fish with some friends, but the plans fell through, so Matthew and I stayed home to watch a movie. Matthew has been saying for some time that he wanted to watch A Star is Born. I have honestly been avoiding the movie because I am not good with romance, love stories. I know, I know....not what you thought huh? I just don't like to cry at movies. It sends me into anxiety for no reason, and I don't like it. I get to emotionally involved! So, I have been telling him no I did not want to see it, even though I do enjoy Bradley Cooper (I mean who doesn't?). We sat down while we were eating supper to decide what movie to rent. Matthew instantly says A Star is Born. My choice was Bohemian Rhapsody. We finally decide on A Star is Born, and we made a compromise, if it was too sad we would turn it off!!
Within 15 minutes into the movie, I was hooked and emotionally attached! The style of music Bradley Cooper sings in the movie is exactly the style we enjoy. I have never really given Lady Gaga a chance, but she was absolutely wonderful in the movie. I made it through the whole movie without crying until the end, and then I bawled like a baby!! Enter the compromise...Bohemian Rhapsody. I figured some good Queen music could cheer me up! I can say that I have become a little obsessed with the soundtrack to A Star is Born. I do this..I am so weird. When I find something I like (movie, book, whatever) I become obsessed. I love to research about the actors and actresses, the story behind the movie/book, or whatever else I can find. The last two days I have been watching interviews of Gaga and Bradley Cooper. I am just fascinated with the talent and what was put into the making of the movie! Bohemian Rhapsody was amazing also! But I knew a movie full of Queen music would be! ;)
Sunday was spent going to church, and then eating at Grandma's for lunch. After lunch, I went to the grocery store and then did some laundry. We did watch the Oscar's that night so we could see Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga sing together. It was amazing! If you haven't watched it, google it! Wow.. (I am not convinced there isn't something between them)
We finally made it to bed, and boom, it's Monday morning again!
New week, new adventures, new memories and finally sunshine! ;)
Hope everyone has a super day filled with many blessings.
Lots of love.

Flu

Flu! I do not like this word! It makes me cringe along with all the other sickness words out there. I really just want my family to live in a bubble, but I know that is not possible! I would not consider myself a germaphobe by no means. I don't like germs, but I don't obsess over them getting on us. I don't wipe things down constantly, or spray Lysol like crazy. We aren't the best at taking vitamins. We wash our hands, and that's about it! LOL  I guess I am one of those that would rather my kids be exposed to some of this stuff so we can build up our immune systems. Let them eat dirt. Let their "paci" fall on the ground a few times. (I don't let them lick tables or other random things. There are some things that cross the line)
Saturday started out like any old day! Bennie and Pop had come up to visit, so we were doing what we always do when they come. Bennie cooked breakfast, while the rest of us worked on a puzzle and laid around. Hudson was acting just like his normal ol' self. He might have been a tad bit cranky, but I didn't think anything about it. That night they had a birthday party to go to for a few hours, so Matthew and I were excited to have a few minutes to watch our show without interruptions. When the kids got home, they were excited telling us about the party. Matthew was holding Hudson, and told me that he felt a little warm. My thoughts, "he has been at a party running around". Wrong!! I got the thermometer and it read 100.9. Here we go.. (Long post may get boring)
Hudson and I slept in the living room that night so I could keep an eye on him. Sometime during the night, he developed a cough and it got worse as the night when on. The next morning I decided we would go to urgent care just to be safe and make sure it wasn't flu. We get to urgent care when the doors open, and within 30 minutes they are sending us on our way with flu/strep test negative and prescription for Zyrtec! Let me give you a little history..Hudson was born extremely early, and because of that there are times that we have issues when he gets sick. He goes from 100 to nothing in no time. Last year in May, he was hospitalized because he was struggling so hard to breathe. It was very scary, but we know his body and when it is time to head to the hospital. He was showing the same signs on Sunday morning, so that is one reason we went to Urgent Care, hoping to prevent going to the hospital.
After we left Urgent Care, Matthew and I were not too happy with the situation. We had to pay $350 and all they did was swab for strep and flu, then sent us home with Zyrtec??? We had even explained his history and what we thought was going on. Oh you know, what do we know?? We are just his parents. Anyway, we spent the rest of the day at Matthew's moms house. With each passing hour, he continued to get worse. Fever kept going up and his breathing was no good. By 3:00, he was running 102 fever and having labored breathing. We decided to head back to Urgent Care. They knew when we came back it wasn't good. Long story short, 2 hours later we left. They did chest x-rays, blood, and everything else, but it was all coming back ok. They did go ahead and give a steroid shot to help with breathing. They even wanted to send us on to the hospital. We made the decision to wait and if he needed we would make the drive to Jonesboro during the middle of the night. If not then we would go to his pediatrician first thing the next morning.
The next morning we wake up to cough and fever going up. He had slept great through the night, which I thank the steroid for that!
 I make the phone call to the doctor to explain what had been going on, and she says, "How fast can you be here". We hang up and head to Jonesboro. By the time we get there, he is running a good fever, so I was glad we were there. I hate when they are running fever and coughing, but when you get to the doctor it mysteriously disappears? How does this happen?   Fast forward, 30 minutes and the doctor is coming in saying that flu and strep came back POSITIVE!!!! No wonder this baby boy was so sick! Booooo.... My mind went straight to the rest of us getting it. We had all been exposed, but there was nothing we could do about it.
By the time we got home, he was beyond exhausted. We laid around the rest of the day, and did nothing. (Well, I did finish reading my book)
Basically, the rest of the week has been a battle of keeping the fever down and resting. Oh and he lost over 5 lbs, so we have been trying to deal with that. I stayed home for 2 days with him, and honestly thought while he was napping I would get laundry and other things done. WRONG! Nothing...I literally stayed in pjs the whole time and held him. Anytime I would get away from him, he wanted me! I can say that I am not sad at all! I totally 100 percent enjoyed get to  holding and care for  my sick baby boy! It's not too often that they want momma! I'll take it when I can get it.
Well...that's all I have for you! That's the story of Hudson and the Flu. I am really praying and hoping that I don't have a story of Matthew, Megan, Jagger and the Flu to share with you! ;)

 The puzzle we worked on for 3 days! I LOVE puzzles! 

 Day 3 pjs and nasty hair! 

 Last night, our Aunt Marg showed up with his favorite bread and chocolate to make him feel better!! Brother and Dad were super happy too! ;)  We love Aunt Marg! She is the best! 

Hope your day is full of many blessings and not too much rain! 

Lots of love....

Home!

Home! What comes to mind when you hear this word? For me, I instantly think comfort. Warmth. Trust. Safe. I know for some that these may not be the words you feel. I see kids on a daily basis and I am sure the words that come to mind are scared, cold, and mean. My heart hurts so much for these babies.
I am sure you are wondering where in the world am I going with this? Well, we moved into our new house almost a year (in May) ago. I have been complaining and throwing silly little fits that it just hasn't felt like HOME! I am still trying to find furniture and other decor to spruce it up. (Now...don't start sending me messages about how I shouldn't be complaining about my house...I am not complaining at all. I LOVE our house! I am just being open and honest about my feelings towards it being "put together", and I am hoping others feel this way or have felt this way before)  I look around at others (comparing, which is a NO. NO) and think that their house is so cute and put together! I look at websites and find tons of stuff to buy to put in the house. BUT does this stuff really make a house a HOME? Are the material things what makes us feel comfort, and warmth? NO! The other day, Jagger and I were having a discussion about his attitude. (10 year old has hit us hard with attitude? Not sure what is going on, but I was thinking I had a few more years?) I was explaining to him that our home should not be a place that is full of negativity, hostility, yelling, bad attitudes, and toxic behavior. I want my boys to want to come HOME. I want them to know when they walk in the door all judgment goes away. I want them to know they are safe. I want them to know that they are loved no matter what. I want Home to be a place that is full of laughter and love. HOME is a safe place from the yucky world out there. After talking to Jagger, it really hit me. All of these things that I have been wanting to make our house a HOME, we already have! Its the people in our house that make it a HOME!  We may not have our house completely decorated. We may have blank walls. We may have piles of laundry and toys toys every where you look, but GUESS What? I'm ok with it!  The next time we have a small pity party over how our house looks, lets stop and ask ourselves if we want a house or a HOME?  A few things that have been going on in our home since October... ;)

Hope your day is full of many blessings.

Lots of love...

To Blog or Not to Blog?

Wow! I can't believe I am actually sitting down to write. I miss it so much, and can't believe it has been October since I have made a post!
To blog or not to blog that is the question. I have really been torn on whether to get the blog going again or just let it go. Satan likes to feel my head with a lot of negative thoughts. (No one reads your blog.  You have horrible grammar. (Yes, Satan I know!)  No one cares what you write about.) Just lots of yucky.
I started this blog several years ago as an outlet. I was a stay at home mommy, and I needed a way to get my thoughts out there. I was also lonely and bored at times, so I thought this would help. Guess what? It did!! My blog became my comfort. My passion. I loved getting on and writing. I consider myself a very open and honest person. Many times on here, I have put myself out there in a very vulnerable way. I have shared things that many people would not, but in every post you get the real me! I truly feel like the greatest blessings in life come when we are open and honest about who we are. God put us on  this earth to care for others, and to share their burdens. How can we share others burdens if we are not open and honest about ourselves? No one is perfect and unfortunately we live in a fallen world that will not be made perfect until our Heavenly Father comes to restore it all. Until that time, I strive daily to be a person who sees others through love. A person who shows grace. A person who laughs even when she wants to cry. A person who sees the glass half full. A person who can make a difference in someones life even if I don't know about it!
If you have read this blog from the beginning, I hope that at some time or another it has brought you some kind of blessing. If not, then I am so sorry! ;) Moving forward if I decide to keeping going, I pray that God opens up this blog as a way to be a light in this dark world. To be a blessing in some way to whoever may be reading.
So......now that I am done rambling, I am going to ask y'all! Should I keep going or let it go? No one is going to hurt my feelings. I am not sure which way I will go, but I am hoping I will know soon!
Lots of love and blessings......