Has This Happened?

Has This All Really Happened to us? This a question that I have asked myself daily. It actually still shocks me that we have gone through this and are still going through it. It feels like a movie! Have you ever gone through something and not truly process it until its over. That has been me. I think the last couple of days finally talking about it with Hudson's nurses and Claire have truly opened my eyes to what we have been through so far.
I never realized the severity of my situation. Yes, I know I was airlifted. Yes, I know I had teamS of doctors( and yes I capitalized the s on purpose) but it has never hit me how severe this whole thing was. Bottom line is I could have died! It was bad enough the doctors were asking Matthew which life do we save, Megan or baby. Matthews answer, " I can't loose Megan" and yes I have tears in my eyes right now. I am sure I drive you all crazy with all the crying but yes we do cry alot. Hopefully one day that will pass. I remember Dr. Perez before I was about to get airlifted and he had just told us our baby had a 20% chance of living that I was awfully calm. The only answer I had was God. If God was taking me from this earth I knew where I was going. My heart breaks for Matthew and what he went through. I know he was scared out of his mind. Now that we are getting close to being in St. Louis a month, its obvious God has more work for us here on this earth. I am grateful for each day he blesses me and my family with because I know we are not guaranteed tomorrow or even the next 30 minutes. I don't know God's plan with our family. I do know it's something awesome. I do know that we are going to have an awesome story to tell. I do know that my Hudson is a sweet miracle with a journey ahead that we can and will conquer!
Today has been another quiet day. You will learn that we like quiet days! Hudson has gained some more weight. He is up to 2lb 13 ounces. All of his numbers were not great today but doctor said that is just from pneumonia. Hopefully the antibiotics will do the job and kill that junk out. As for big brother, he is enjoying some daddy time. Matthew went home for a couple of days to get some things done. I think all they have done is play. I am sure Jagger is stuck to Matthew like glue. I miss Jagger so much each day. I feel like I am missing out on so much with him. I can't wait to wrap my arms around him and just hold him!
Time to get some sleep!
Hope everyone has a blessed night!
Love yall