Roller Coaster!

The last few days have been a complete roller coaster and I know this is only the beginning of it! I am laying in bed and I cant stop the tears just thinking about what all has happened over the last few days! I also am shocked at myself because normally I don't think I would be the type to handle all of this but then I know its not me, its God! He has been here like crazy over the last two days! I know at times the nurses think I am crazy because I have been just stating scripture out loud. I haven't cared who is around or what they hear, it has been the only thing that has helped! So after I delivered on the 26th, I was in recovery. I was only suppose to be there for about 2 hours but they could not get my pain under control so we were there for almost 4 hours! Mom was on one side and Matthew on the other holding my hand through the whole thing! Once we finally got the pain under control it was time to take me to the room but they got to wheel me through the NICU here at St. Mary's to see baby! As soon as they wheeled me up to him the tears came! He looks so much like Jagger just way smaller! Jagger was born almost 10lbs so this has been so unreal to us! They let me touch him and as soon as I did he gripped my hand! My heart broke into a million pieces and when they wheeled me out I thought I was going to die! I couldn't breathe and just wanted to wake up from this dream! When we got settled in the room and I got calmed down everything was good! I was so happy to see everyone and just relax! Matthew and I were hoping for some sleep! We loved know Hudson was right down the hall in the NICU and the nurse would come in every little bit and give us updates! We finally got to sleep and then at 3 the nurse came in and told us they would be transferring him to Cardinal Glennon about 5 miles from here! My heart broke again and I couldn't stop crying! She explained that at his size he really needed the special care and attention at Cardinal Glennon. they told us he would be in his own room and have his own nurses! When they got ready to leave they wheeled him into my room and let me touch him! They also gave me a small blanket about 30 minutes before he left so that it would have my scent on it! It goes in the incubator with him! When the doctor said it was time to go Matthew and I both broke down! This has been some of the hardest things I have ever had to do! I haven't quite figured out how my heart is still beating! Cardinal Glennon has been amazing! That night Matthew and I took turns praying out loud the rest of the night and around 5 i couldn't take it anymore so Matthew called to check on him! They said he was stable and if we wanted to call every 20 minutes we could! This made me feel so much better. The next morning, mom and dad got here early which made me feel better! Mom can hold my hand and immediately I feel better! I just have needed them for the support! The plan for the day was to get me out of bed to walk, which I thought was insane.. Keep my blood pressure under control, take out catheter, and possibly go see baby! Im going to end here bc I don't want to overload everyone but I am planning on going back and giving detail for each day!
I know God is using this and right now its not a fun roller coaster but once we get to the end i know we will be amazed at what we have overcame!'
Hope everyone has a blessed night!