Currently...

Currently I am.....

Reading

Sinners and the Sea: The Untold Story of Noah's Wife

I absolutely love books like this. Some of my favorite reads are about people in the Bible. One of my favorite books is Havah: The Story of Eve. Such a good read. This reminds me a lot of it. I feel like it kind of opens our eyes to what it was like back then! 

Watching

Designated Survivor

Matthew and I were watching 24. Such a good show, but Matthew got burned out on it. I will say that 24 gets tiring. One season is 24 episodes, and by the end you are worn out mentally. We both really like Kiefer Sutherland, so I was happy that we found this show. The title basically tells what the show is about. He is the designated survivor for the president! Watch it..you won't be sorry.

Eating

If you know me, I am typically on some kind of diet. I hop from one to the next and have literally tried every kind of diet there is. Currently, I am low "carbing" it. I have actually stuck this out longer than any other diet/lifestyle/eat habit I have ever had. I don't really have a rhyme or reason to it. The last couple of months, I have been on a carb binge, eating everything in sight. I had to stop because the jeans are getting too tight, and I refuse to buy a bigger size. Back to the grind! Low Carb/Keto here I am...

Wearing

Right now, I am currently down on my closet! I am not sure what is wrong, but I am not liking anything I own. Do you ever go through this? I am really good about keeping things for years. Seriously, some of the shirts that I have, I have been wearing for 5 years. I am in dire need of a closet overhaul, but I don't even know where to start? Before I became a mom, I was some what trendy when it came to clothes..since then Yoga pants, and big shirts have become my trend??

Drinking

Water, Coffee, and Plexus Pink Drink

Planning

I am always planning trips to Disney, I just need the funds to go! LOL    We are for sure going to the beach with Matthew's mom this summer, so our thing now is trying to figure out what we want to do with just the 4 of us! Disney? Cruise? We have toyed around with taking a Carnival Cruise. We have done the Disney Cruise and enjoyed it! We learned alot about cruises and would know what to expect for the next time.  Matthew and I have also talked about flying out to Vegas for 3 days just to see what it is all about. We don't gamble, so basically we would be sight-seeing and eating! 

Is there something that you are currently doing that I need to know about to add to my list?? 

Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Lots of love..

Megan Marie Cohn

I am Megan Marie Cohn. I was born September 5th, 1986 in Batesville, AR. My mom, Dana Bennett, and dad, Kenny Bennett were just babies themselves when they welcomed me into the world. I love the story they have. Two totally different worlds coming together to form a family! I am happy to say that they are still married today! I know they have had some rough times, but I thank God everyday that they have been able to look past their differences.
We lived in Cave City, AR until Dad took a job in Searcy, Ar. It was the summer before I started 2nd grade. I remember the first day of school so vividly. Momma was holding my hand and the closer we got to the door the tighter my grip on her was. That was in 1994, and 10 years later in 2004, I was walking across the stage getting my diploma from Searcy High School. I would say that my years in school were pretty good. Some years better than others. Probably the worst thing I ever dealt with was mean girls. I wish I could go back to my younger self and tell her not to worry about any of them. Once you get out of school, you never see any of them again. Its not worth the stress. I did walk away from Searcy High School with people who will always be in my heart. Do I see them often? No not at all. Even if I don't see them they are ones who I carry daily with me. (Audra, Amy, Sarah)
Momma and Daddy never had any more kids. It was just us! The three of us. Things were simple. They both worked hard for everything we had. They taught me responsibility. I got a job as soon as I was able. Thank you Ricky for hiring me when I was 13 at Sunrise Honda! ;) Honestly,  there was never a time I was without a job until I had Jagger and became a stay-at-home mommy. They taught me honesty, integrity, compassion, hard work, and great love for music/movies and a good book! I did not grow up in a home where we went to church regularly. Momma said when we moved from Cave City, she just never found a church that she wanted to call "home". She did continue to do her best to teach me about God's love for me. I did attend VBS almost every year, and did manage to go to church camp with friends. This is when my love for Jesus started. Did I put him first for all those years? NO. I lived my life with him on the very far back burner. Not until Matthew and I got married, did I decide that I wanted him to be front and center. I wanted my home to be centered around HIM. I wanted my kids to grow up in a home that loves HIM and isn't afraid to show it!
Growing up, I never really saw myself as a mom. I never really wanted kids. I didn't really like being around kids. Maybe it's because I was an only and it was just a "grown up" environment. The moment I laid eyes on Jagger, I knew God had a different plan for me. If possible, I would have more than the two we have. I would love to adopt. Even before I had kids, I have felt led to adopt. I can't explain it, it's just something that has always been there. I have always felt led to go on mission trips. Why have I gone? I have no idea...It's on my bucket list and one day I will.
So, who am I? Who is Megan Marie Cohn.....
I am a mother (Thank you Jagger and Hudson)
I am a wife (Matthew, I am so glad had plans for us)
I am a daughter
I am a friend
I am a Jesus lover
I am a sinner (I mess up every day)
I am a prayer warrior
I am a book lover (sometimes obsessive)
I am a learner (I LOVE to learn about things and learn new things)
I am cook (one of my favorite types of therapy)
I am a worrier
I am a lover (I love to love on people...need a hug or a smile I am your girl)
I am a Southern girl (I am proud of my Southern roots)
I am a fixer
I am a honest person (Don't ask me unless you want the truth)
I am a controller (I like to be in control)
I am a Disney lover (sorry, but not sorry... I need to know when I can go back to Disney!)
I am a fan of cozy days by the fire with a good book
I am a foodie (food is what motivates me! Its why I go on vacation)
I am not good at controlling my temper (working on it)
I am not good at loving myself fully (I pick myself a part)
I am not good at patience (working on it)
I am not good at house work (who is?)
I am not good at rejection ( I just want to be loved and accepted)
I AM ME!!!!
I am so grateful for the life that God has given me. The good, bad and in between. I know each and every moment has made me the woman I am today.

I like to dance or at least pretend I can dance!! LOL 

Sorry Jen and Nana...I had to...Such a fun night! LOL 

Hope everyone has a blessed day!
Lots of love....

Ugly Monster

Daylight savings time...Yuck! Not my favorite week of the year. I think it actually gives me anxiety! I need that extra hour. LOL and then to top it off, we wake up today with it being dark and rainy! Really? Come on, we are all struggling enough. 

Anywho, today's post may not be the happiest post you have ever read, but it is something that I feel needs to be shared. We all have battles we face in life. Alcohol, anger, lust, faithfulness, trust, and many things in between. My battle is anxiety and depression. I call it the "ugly monster". 

This monster has been a part of me since I was little. I honestly didn't think that I had anxiety issues when I was little, but the older I have gotten I just realized that it showed up in different forms. Weather use to give me severe anxiety. I mean to the point that if a cloud came up in the sky, I would be crying in the closet. After getting over the weather, Hurricane Katrina hit, anxiety hit majorly over gas prices, and other things that I could not control.  Presidential elections, end of the world, death, chaos in the world, kids committing suicide, and everything else in between. 

As an adult, the first real time that the "ugly monster" reared it's ugly head was right after I had Jagger. I had no idea what was going on with me. I hit rock bottom, and had no clue what to do. This was the first time, I had to get medical help. I remember being so embarrassed going to a doctor to get help. I had went to our pastor, and he was the one that told me there was nothing to be ashamed of. Getting medical help for this did not make me any less of a Christian. (yes, that was something else I was battling in my mind! How could I be a Christian. have a relationship with Christ but still have depression and anxiety?) The doctor was so good to me. I remember filling out a survey about myself and things that I had faced within that year.  Marriage, moving to a new state/home, death of a grandparent, becoming a stay at home mom after years of working, and a new baby. I was sitting in the doctor's office crying, asking, "what is wrong with me?" The doctor went on to explain that just facing three of these was enough to throw a person off, let alone 5 of them. I left there feeling better just knowing that there was a reason I was feeling crazy. I started medicine, and began the process of healing. About a year later, I was off of medicine and feeling much better. The next few years were not bad. I do not remember any major times the ugly monster came out to show his face. Then came Hudson. With my history, the doctors immediately put me on medicine. I am beyond happy that they did, because I had no idea what we were fixing to face. It was a long couple of years!! I felt like most of those years were truly spent just focusing on Hudson and his health. Its so weird because at times I look back and do not remember much about him being little. I don't remember a lot of his firsts? (this gives me anxiety) I don't remember playing in the floor with him as a baby. Was it because we were so caught up in his health? Who knows. I just thank God that we are were we are today. He is an amazing fighter, who gives me inspiration every day. 

The last few years my battle with the monster comes and go. There is no rhyme or  reason really. I can go months without any problems and then boom, he comes out to play. Some times its extremely easy to push him away, and other times it's a struggle. Back in October, I hit rock bottom again. My uncle passed away and it brought out a lot. Panic attacks like non-other. Waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, shaking uncontrollably, and crying that wouldn't stop. Fear of being alone. Obsessive thoughts that would NOT go away. I literally clung to my bible during that time. I would sit in the chair and hold it. Many times, I had no idea what to say except the name Jesus. Thank God he brought me out of that ugly time. It was a long couple of weeks. I really have no explanation of why it happened. I just know it was real. Winter has been on hard on me this. I am not really sure why. Possibly the thought of my uncle lingering in the back of my mind, and now we are facing new problems with our kiddos. This past weekend, I was in bed all weekend with my mind going fifty million different places. I just wanted to sleep. If I am a sleep then I don't have to deal with my mind. I don't have to deal with not being the best mom I can. I don't have to deal with explaining why I the tears are there for no reason. 

Am I proud of the "ugly monster" I face? No. There are many days I question, why me? My life is amazing. I have a husband who adores me and our kids. I have two precious boys, who are beyond healthy. I am surrounded by family and friends who show me more love and support than I deserve. So why me? I have no answer for that. I do know that it is not something I want. I pray daily that God will heal me from this and that this monster will never show his ugly face again. Until then, my main goal is to face each day knowing that I have a loving Savior who will never leave my side. I want so many others that have an "ugly monster" to know that they are not alone. Talk about it. I know its hard and many people want to hide it, but that doesn't help the situation. Dig into scripture. Memorize. Memorize. Memorize. When the ugly monster does come out, you have a way to fight! Anxiety and Depression are a real thing. It is something that unless you face it, you will not understand it. It's as real as any other disease out there. If you know anyone or you face this, please know you are not alone. 

Hope everyone has a super day!

Lots of love.....