Sunday, December 30, 2012

Day After Delivery!

Wow what a day that was!!! That morning when I got up my blood work already came back in a good direction! Mom and dad got here early because i knew i needed momma! The goal for the day was getting up to walk, control bp and possibly see Hudson! I ate breakfast and then pretty quick after they took out catheter, which made me very nervous bc I knew what this meant.. I had to get up to pee! I was dreading it. Finally my nurse came in and said its time to get up! She made me cry and i know i looked at her like she crazy! I tried and of course no success. I was so dizzy and light headed i thought i would pass out. Lets just say this nurse was not my favorite! I know she was doing her job but goodness come on, not even 12 hours ago i had my stomach ripped open and insides all messed with then on top of that i have been on constant drugs for 11 days! The morning i delivered i was to 164 lbs!!!! Wow! Finally i had no choice but to get up because i was about to pee in the bed! We got the two charge nurses come help me and they were amazing! It took several minutes of sitting on the side of the bed and these sweet nurses rubbed my arms and just helped me. When i stood up i felt like my legs were going to give. Its the worst feeling but they pushed me. Out loud i was saying, i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Yes it was horrible and tough but i made it and each time has been easier. I slept good that night and the next day was better. The only thing was my blood pressure. It continued to get higher and this was so frustrating to me. I just want to be out of this hospital so we can focus on Hudson. I have been very happy to get back in clothes and wear normal pjs! The nurses and some of my specialist doctors have been shocked at how different I look! I think its funny! I am very happy about getting out tomorrow. We will be moving into,our new home- Ronald McDonald house and I've heard its great! I know we will enjoy support from other families!
Hope everyone has a blessed night!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Roller Coaster!

The last few days have been a complete roller coaster and I know this is only the beginning of it! I am laying in bed and I cant stop the tears just thinking about what all has happened over the last few days! I also am shocked at myself because normally I don't think I would be the type to handle all of this but then I know its not me, its God! He has been here like crazy over the last two days! I know at times the nurses think I am crazy because I have been just stating scripture out loud. I haven't cared who is around or what they hear, it has been the only thing that has helped! So after I delivered on the 26th, I was in recovery. I was only suppose to be there for about 2 hours but they could not get my pain under control so we were there for almost 4 hours! Mom was on one side and Matthew on the other holding my hand through the whole thing! Once we finally got the pain under control it was time to take me to the room but they got to wheel me through the NICU here at St. Mary's to see baby! As soon as they wheeled me up to him the tears came! He looks so much like Jagger just way smaller! Jagger was born almost 10lbs so this has been so unreal to us! They let me touch him and as soon as I did he gripped my hand! My heart broke into a million pieces and when they wheeled me out I thought I was going to die! I couldn't breathe and just wanted to wake up from this dream! When we got settled in the room and I got calmed down everything was good! I was so happy to see everyone and just relax! Matthew and I were hoping for some sleep! We loved know Hudson was right down the hall in the NICU and the nurse would come in every little bit and give us updates! We finally got to sleep and then at 3 the nurse came in and told us they would be transferring him to Cardinal Glennon about 5 miles from here! My heart broke again and I couldn't stop crying! She explained that at his size he really needed the special care and attention at Cardinal Glennon. they told us he would be in his own room and have his own nurses! When they got ready to leave they wheeled him into my room and let me touch him! They also gave me a small blanket about 30 minutes before he left so that it would have my scent on it! It goes in the incubator with him! When the doctor said it was time to go Matthew and I both broke down! This has been some of the hardest things I have ever had to do! I haven't quite figured out how my heart is still beating! Cardinal Glennon has been amazing! That night Matthew and I took turns praying out loud the rest of the night and around 5 i couldn't take it anymore so Matthew called to check on him! They said he was stable and if we wanted to call every 20 minutes we could! This made me feel so much better. The next morning, mom and dad got here early which made me feel better! Mom can hold my hand and immediately I feel better! I just have needed them for the support! The plan for the day was to get me out of bed to walk, which I thought was insane.. Keep my blood pressure under control, take out catheter, and possibly go see baby! Im going to end here bc I don't want to overload everyone but I am planning on going back and giving detail for each day!
I know God is using this and right now its not a fun roller coaster but once we get to the end i know we will be amazed at what we have overcame!'
Hope everyone has a blessed night!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Hudson Lynn Cohn!

Well this sweet baby boy decided to meet us yesterday around 3:30pm! Im laying here in bed right now with quite a bit of pain so please forgive if this not the best post! I will come back later and give all the details!
Our sweet baby boy came into the world delivered by an AmAZING team od doctors at around 3:30 pm! I have never been so nervous about anything, but when I laid my eyes on him I couldnt believe how perfect he was! Yes he is tiny and weighs only 2.5lbs but he came out kicking and squirming! The doctors called him a little rockstar! We still have a long journey ahead and we dont know what each day holds! All we can do is pray and trust God has this whatever the outcome! Please continue to pray for the healing of our sweet boy and also for Jagger. It has been tough on him also!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Christmas To Remember!

Yes this will for,sure be one to remember! I have a book at home that is called Christmas traditions and each year I write what all we did and answer all the questions. I was telling Matthew the spot for this year wont have much in it.... In Hospital!
The day started out pretty good! Mom and dad are here which makes me very happy! We could have all the company in the world but there is something about having my momma here that comforts me. Matthew and I slept in a little which was nice! Rest is super important and sometimes hard to get! When we finally got up i ordered breakfast and we then got to watch on FaceTime Jagger get Santa! It was great! Yes i wanted to be there but thank goodness for technology! After the kids did Santa we watched the family open gifts! Matthew has a very large family and they all stay at Grandma and Pa's so through the screen we could watch! We watched for awhile them it started to get to me so we took a break! I had a small break down, and i keep telling myself its ok! After i got myself back together, i decided to read the Christmas story from the bible, and this made me feel much better! Its amazing how God's word can calm us! The rest of the day was pretty slow until Jagger got here! I was so, see that sweet face! It took all of my pain away! And then Of course we did Christmas! Yes, Matthew's mom is Awesome! They hauled all the presents up here to the room and we had Christmas! The nurses and doctors loved it! I would have much rather been at home in my cute christmas pjs doing presents but we aren't! Im laid in bed with this nasty gown and all hooked up to monitors and wires, so it is definitely a Christmas we wont forget! Im also excited because as i lay here and type i have my two boys in the room with me! Jagger spent the night with us tonight! So its not the picture perfect Christmas but I cant stop thanking God for his blessings and for honestly teaching me Christmas is really just another day! Its not about trees, presents, Santa, stockings and all the other junk! Its about him and his,precious gift to us!
Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Decent Day!

Overall yesterday was not too bad!! Now mind you, I would much rather be at home with my sweet baby going through our normal Christmas traditions but we aren't, so I am trying to make the most of being here! Jagger was here yesterday for awhile so that was nice! It does make me sad because you can tell he is a little nervous around me but goodness who wouldn't be? I mean Im laid up in bed almost 30lbs heavier than what I was 3 days ago. I cry almost every time I look in the mirror so I have decided its best to not even look! I know its only temporary! So anyways, Jagger, claire, Gigi, and Pa were here for the morning and I was so grateful! Jagger made reindeer water bottles for all the nurses and they love them!! He enjoys getting to talk to the nurses! Everything was good until they had to leave and then I absolutely felt like someone was taking a knife and cutting my heart out! It was so hard to watch my baby leave this room( it makes me cry writing about it). God has given me a lot of strength through this but I feel that is one spot I am still lacking in! After they left all i could do was cry, but I feel like I deserve that! :) once I got settled down I felt better because I knew mom and dad were coming which made me very happy! There is something about having your momma around that just makes things better! I couldn't do this with out Matthew but when it comes to some things a girl just needs her mom- especially an only child girl!
Matthew and I ended up watching a movie and then when mom and dad got here we just hung out for awhile, and then the best thing ever-I got to shower and wash my hair! I promise this is something I will never take for granted again! It was tough and take a lot of energy but I felt so good after!
So not too much excitement went on for the day! The doctor was happy with my labs, not much change going on! Hudson is doing amazing and its just a waiting game to see how long God has him planned to stay in there! Many are asking what they can do and all we can say is pray! We feel the prayers and know they are working! God is here with us and we couldn't make it without him!
Hope everyone had a blessed morning!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Life Changes!'

Life Changes in a heart beat! I have figured out the plans I HAD for our family for the Christmas Holiday were definitely not what God had in mind! It all started on Tuesday! I really have not felt 100 but I have been just "chalking" it up to keeping up with a 3 year old! Matthew was on vacation so we had decided to run to the church and let him practice some music! While we were there i started feeling sick to my stomach but again didn't think anything of it! (If you know me then you know I am not one to just run to the doctor for anything! I am very last minute!) we went to gigi's to eat supper and by the time we got done eating I was really hurting! I kind of knew something wasn't right but in my mind I was telling myself it was gas/indigestion! :) when we got home I spent almost an hour crying and dealing with the pain! All I could do was cry and ask God if I needed to go to the doctor and finally I felt a nudge that said Go! Matthew had been wanting me to go for awhile but I guess God's voice was big enough to cause me to listen! :) and mind you this is 9 at nit so we had no choice but ER which bothers me also! I will do anything to prevent these visits! The sister in laws make it to the house and we get to the hospital. By this time i am in the worst pain and I cant breathe! The admissions got me right up to labor and delivery- thank goodness! Within 15-20 minutes of getting in the room and telling them what was happening, the nurse is coming in telling Matthew and I this is very serious, the doctor is coming in and we will be transferred! Do what? Say that again? Did I hear you correctly? All we could say was , what did you say? She looked at us and said you are very sick and need to be transferred! I immediately go into panic mode and then the doctor comes in. He sits down very calmly on the bed and tells us that I have HELLP syndrome and the only way to fix this is to deliver the baby! Tear start coming.. How can this be? i am only 26 weeks? I instantly close my eyes and go to God and his peace comes over me! I know we are going to be ok! The doctor tells us they are going to airlift me to St Mary's in St louis because they specialize in high risk pregnancy and that we will stay there until baby comes home! My brain can hardly process all they are telling me and in my mind the only thing i can think is Jagger! My baby....i cant leave him, what about christmas? What about birthday, and a million other things!!! But i know in the instant there is nothing I can do so its best to just calm down and deal with the moment! By 3 am I am being put on an airplane and being airlifted to St Louis! When we landed and got in our room i have never been so scared and overwhelmed because basically they thought I would deliver that day but now here we are 4 days later still hanging on strong! I have been diagnosed with Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome! There are no cures for them except to deliver the baby and we will be here until that point! I am on continuous monitors and have an amazing team of doctors who are right at my side! But even better is the presence of God! He has never left me since we flew out of Kennett and I know he is not leaving! Yes I have my moments and the tears come especially when Jagger leaves but I know this in the plan and All i can do is trust him! It has for sure put a different perspective on Christmas for me! Christmas is not at all about presents or anything like that. Its about family and the most precious gift ever, Jesus! I don't want to be here and its not fun but I know we are being used for a greater purpose and that is something that helps me get through it!
Please continue with the prayers. They are needed and know that I love all of you!

Friday, December 21, 2012


For the last few days, I have serioulsy felt like I have been in a dream and I will wake up any minute! Well guess what???? I have tried and when I do I am still laying in this hospital bed in St. Louis! The tears start and the ONLY comfort I have is God's voice that comes over me and says, "i'm here".  I have all these thoughts and emotions just like a rollercoaster.... Why me? This is not fair? I should be home with Jagger getting ready for Christmas, what could i have done different to prevent this?, and so many other things until I just have to stop and tell myself that we are here because this is in God's plan! We cant explain it and we dont know why ,but we are and we are dealing! I do know 100% something good is coming out of this! I cant see it now but I can feel it! I just know God is up to something fantastic and it is awesome to know he is using us and this sweet baby boy for such a purpose!
Tomorrow i plan on posting about the whole thing from the beginning! I know there are many that still dont know what is going on and I want it for us to go back and read! I will NOT be posting pics because it would scare you and for those of you who get the pleasure of seeing me I am sorry! My nurses and doctors can not believe how different I look from pics we have shared with them! I am so swollen I dont even recognize myself! I think I am up about 25lbs in fluids- so basically I am a huge marshmellow laying in bed! Its not cool!
I also can not end this with out saying how wonderful my husband is! He is more than I ever deserve!  He has not left my side and is holding my hand each minute! I know if he could switch me places he would! He is my life and I cant imagine one second without him!
Love all of you! Please keep up the prayers! We completely feel them!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Christmas Pageant

Every year our church has the Christmas Pageant! It is so cute! Its basically a small play with ages 3- 3rd grade maybe? and while the congregation is singing Christmas music the kids are in costume coming on stage! It is quite entertaining because you know 3 and 4 year olds don't really care about standing still on stage! My sweet Jagger was a shepherd this year and he has been so excited! We had practice on Tuesday night and he did really well except for telling the little boys who wouldn't stand still that Santa would not bring them anything! Thats my boy- making sure everyone is acting right! ;) So after doing really well at practice I figured he would have no problem at the real thing....Wrong! While walking on stage he saw Matthew and had to stop and give him a hug, then when he got on his spot on the stage he was doing great until he realized the other little boy was not in his spot..Jagger is telling him in the middle of all this to come get in his spot! Then he finally spots the whole family, and decides to start waving at everyone! This whole time I am sitting beside Matthew's uncle who is cracking up the whole time! so of course, I can't stop cracking up! One of the shepherds is walking around the stage, and then took one of the gifts for Baby Jesus. Another shepherd was turned around poking some other kids, and the angels were not standing still! I went back and watched what we filmed and I could not stop laughing! These kids are so funny and the thing that is so sweet is that it is just their innocence!
getting ready!

my little shepherd!

trying to get him to not act silly!

again..the boy can not stand still and smile!

but he can act silly!

all the kids!

I was hoping for a good family picture! NOT! oh well!
I can't believe we are so close to Christmas! It is flying by and I am loving every minute of it! We are still doing our Christmas Kindness and it has been awesome! This week we have had so much fun doing each thing and I know we have really made some people's day! I am just so grateful that God had led me to follow through with this because it is such a blessing! I have a feeling we will continue to do this even after Christmas! I mean who doesn't need a small blessing even after Christmas! I know that I do!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Lights of the Delta!

First, before I get started I need prayers. I have started swelling and having lots of back pain. It all started yesterday and when I talk to the doctor she told me to stay off my feet! If it doesn't get better by Monday we will be at doctor :( and I really don't want to do that so please say a small prayer for me that this will get better!
Ok.....on to the fun stuff! Last night, Matthew and I took Jagger to see the Lights of the Delta. I know many of you may not know what this is, but it is super cool and definitely worth the drive! It is the largest lighting display in the Mid-South. They have 6 million lights and 48+ major motion displays on a 40 acre drive thru site. It is really neat and Jagger LOVED it! He was so sad when we were at the end of it! When you get there, you turn your radio on a certain station and the music plays along while you drive through the lights! It is a really good family night activity!
Love my boys!

acting silly!

we couldn't get a good one! Oh well....

Not the best pictures..but you get the idea! It is so neat!

Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Friday, December 7, 2012


I was going to post this last night but the night got away from me! I have been working on Christmas cards and once I get started on something I will not stop until I am finished! I think that is part of my "ocd" tendencies.
After we ate lunch with Grandma Betty and Pa, Jagger and I came home. I got a load of laundry going, Jagger watched a movie and I started on the cards! This year we have sent out 101 cards! I never thought we would send out that many and I am still thinking there are going to be more! I am glad I have extras! ;) but it took me several hours and then I even had to work on a few last night! About 75 cards into it, I decided it was time for a break! I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to do our Random Act of Christmas Kindness for the day! I really have not been posting much on this or going into to detail about what we are doing because I felt this is something very special to us and I want to keep it for us! Yes, I will talk about it but I don't feel like its something that I want to go on and on about. I am going to tell you what we did yesterday because I am so proud of Jagger. We had to go buy toys for other kids. At the time when I put all these in the advent calender I thought we would be at mom and dads. If we were going to be there, I was going to have us do either an Angel Tree, Christmas for Kids, or something of that nature but since we stayed home there is really nothing like that here! I did find that we have Toys for Tots, so I figured that would work! I told Jagger that we were going to buy toys for other kids who may not get anything for Christmas. Well...immediately the questions came- Where are there mommy and daddy? Why can't Santa bring them anything? and several other questions that I had to stumble my way through and just hope that God would give me the right words! We get to the store and as soon as we walk in the door there are toys! Jagger runs up to a baby doll and says, "Mom, a little girl would love this!" My heart melts and we put it in the cart! He is going around to all the toys telling me how much they would love this and that! After getting several toys in the cart, I had to stop and tell him that we only had a certain amount of money to spend. Yes, I would love to spend a ton of money on toys for other kids but we just can't! He looks at me and says: Mom, Why its just money"!   Wow..I wish it was that easy, but he is completely right! Its just money and God always provides what we need! Tomorrow we will wake up and its a new day for God to provide! When we left the store, we said a prayer over the toys we had bought! I was so happy and blessed that Jagger had fun picking out the toys- not only fun but he has a huge heart and wanted to buy so much for others...not himself! I can not stop God for leading me to do this Christmas countdown. It has already taught me so much and I can't wait to see what the days ahead hold! I know that this has helped my family focus on what Christmas is truly about.
Once we got done delivering the toys to the drop off location, we came home and had to get ready for the Chamber of Commerce board dinner! I have to brag on my husband for a few minutes! I am so super proud of him. He has been elected to be on the Chamber of Commerce board in our town! I think this is a true honor and something very exciting! He is a wonderful Christian man, husband and dad! I can not thank God enough for letting him be apart of my life!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

Yup, It's Wednesday and it's only 20 days until Christmas! That is just unreal! but very exciting!

I'm LOVING that we are now on day 5 of our Random Act of Christmas Kindness Countdown and it has so far been the best thing we have ever done! We still have 20 days to go and I can't imagine how we will feel when it is over! I already feel so blessed....

I'm LOVING that we have started getting Christmas cards! I absolutely love getting Christmas cards in the mail. Everyday I am like a kid waiting on the mailman to get here so I can run out to the mailbox to see how many are there and who they are from!

I'm LOVING ABC Family's Countdown to Christmas! Christmas movies is one of our favorite things and on here they show all the originals plus more!

I'm LOVING Fiber One Brownies! I have been needing something to take care of my chocolate craving and these are the perfect thing! They are only 90 Calories and taste super yummy!

I'm LOVING that the new Batman is out on dvd! I am huge fan of Batman- always have been! and I have been waiting for this one to come out but did not want to go to the movie theater after the shooting, so now I can finally watch it in the safety of my own home! :)

I'm LOVING that my doctors appointment this month went well! She said that at the next appointment in January I will go and register with the hospital, then we will get a date set for the c-section! I can't believe its already time for that! Seems unreal!

Link up with Jamie and tell us what you are loving!
Hope you have a blessed night!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Such A Blessing!

Well, it's 10:30 and I am finally getting to sit down and take a break from the day! It has been a very long day! Good but long! Mom and Dad were here because mom had a booth at the Christmas Bazaar today! She was selling her all natural food- Wildtree! It is super yummy! I stayed with her at the booth until about 1:30 then I had to run to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart was crazy busy but I was shocked at how fast I got in and out of there! I am thinking it was because I only had several things to get and I did not have a 3 year old with me showing me everything he needs! :) When I got home I spent time doing laundry and getting the house put back together! I am very ocd about our house and for some reason when my family comes I am constantly picking up and putting stuff away! After I got done doing my "chores", it was time for some family time! Jagger, Matthew and I got opened our 1st day of the Advent Calender- Countdown to 25 Days of Christmas Kindness! At first, Matthew wasn't too sure about it but when we finally got in the car and got started, he was all about it! We had a blast! We listened to Christmas music while we did our first act of  kindness! I have never felt so excited about doing something and once we got done I felt like my heart was going to explode! I already know this is going to be the best Christmas ever! I just can not stop thanking God for blessing me and I truly hope that the small things we are doing will bless someone else! When we finished our "family time", Matthew and Jagger went over to the Snipe's house while I went to church for our Women's Christmas Dinner! The food was super yummy and we got to listen to some beautiful Christmas music! It has for sure been an awesome way to spend the 1st day of December, and if this day has been a glimpse of what is in store for this month I just think I will jump up and down and do a happy dance! God is so good!
Hope everyone has had a blessed day!