Choices!!

Choices!! It is something we have to do every single day! Its amazing if you sit back and think about how many choices we make in a day- what to wear, what to eat, what to watch.. These are the simple ones but then in life we get to make more important ones that will stay with us for a long time!

I pray everyday that I make the right choices with my kids! I pray that I am being the best parent that I can be... There is one choice we as parents have to make that is a biggie!! And I know what I am about to say is going to get several fired up and immediately you will disagree but it is.... To homeschool or not! Now before you get the claws out and start judging me, I am not saying we are going to make the choice to homeschool! Has it crossed my mind.. YES! Is it something I think about...YES! Do I think it is right for everyone...NO! 

The closer and closer my baby gets to becoming a kindergardern the more and more I start getting nervous! What really concerns me here lately is the stories about how our babies are bieng pushed and pushed in these early years! And yes I think our kids should be taught but why are we pushing them so hard!!?? Why are they doing in preschool what they use to do in kindergarden?? Why are these young ones having hours worth of homework being sent home?? Sometimes I feel they are being pushed and pushed so they can score high on some test at the end of the year that can make the school look better. We are more focused on testing scores than the important stuff for these kids like social skills and things that will stick with them through life! Honestly i would rather my kids be happy than score high on some test that will not amount to a hill of beans later in life!!

Another thing that bothers me is what they are exposed to! I dread what Jagger is going to be hearing from other kids in school and I know that this is something I cant protect him from forever. We live in a sick world with school shootings and so many other scary things! I have heard horrible stories of small kids who go to school then come home and ask questions about sex and other things that they should not know about it! I love how at home you can control that. I love how at home it doesnt matter what you have. It doesnt matter what other kids are wearing or what kid of homelife they have! I know in bigger cities the homeschooling is becoming more and more popular. Its a way for parents to protect their kids and make sure they are being taught morals and values! But also in bigger cites there is more for homeschooled kids to do! They have groups that get together and do things so kids are getting the socialization they need! 

Now with that said will we homeschool? Probably not! Would I try if given the change.. Probably so! Please dont think Im crazy or weird this is just how I feel and what is on my heart! I know that all I can do for Jaggeri is pray that I am preparing him for the world and that he knows right from wrong! The rest I just give to God and let him take control!! 

Hope everyone is having a blessed day!!

Prayers Please!

Well its only 12:37pm, and I have already had several breakdowns today! I hate the moments when you get pushed and pushed until the only thing left to do is cry! That is how I have felt today! It all started yesterday! Hudson had therapy and for a few days now he has been struggling to breathe! Not anything horrible but something I had started paying attention to. During therapy, he really started to struggling and have a horrible wheezing sound! He couldnt even finish therapy and that is when I called the dr! They said bring him up immediately! Thankfully Aunt Claire had picked up Jagger from school so she just stayed with him! We get to the dr and they said yes he sounds bad! We did a breathing treatment and it helped. The dr said there may be times he just needs extra and that is what happens when you have damaged lungs! Ok so we get home and the rest of the day went ok. 

In the meantime, Jagger has had a runny nose for several days! Nothing to green and nasty and no fever ! We have really been trying to teach Jagger to blow his nose instead of licking or just letting it run! I Love my babies but sometimes it can be so gross! I tell Jagger often why would you lick your nasty snot instead of wanting to blow it???? Havent figured it out yet! So anyways with the runny nose he had a couple of bumps show up and one I thought was a fever blister. This morning when I woke him up I was shocked! His mouth was all broke out and scabbed over. The blisters had moved to his nose and when we blew it, the thickest green snot came out. He started crying because it was cracking and bleeding! It absolutely broke my heart! I knew it was time to head back to dr. They got us in and we cracked some jokes about us always being there! I asked if they could give us a permenant room with our name on it! And also while this is going on, my lip broke out with 3 huge fever blisters and I woke up in the middle of the night and could not even swallow!!!! Jesus, how much more can I take???

Back to the dr, he comes in and says he has bacterial impetigo. It is highly contagious and spreads like crazy. He tells me the boys do not need to be around each other for a couple of days. I instantly want to cry. No momma wants to be away from their child when they are sick! But then we have got to keep Hudson healthy too! I want to clone myself that way I can be with both of them! 

Here we are a couple of hours later- jagger with grandma Betty. He cant do much just rest and stay hydrated. He has to constantly wash his hands to keep it from spreading! We have several meds and I am at home washing sheets and spraying down everything while trying to make sure Hudson takes breathing treatments! So please when you pray today add us to your list! I never wantto wish our life away but I can say I want us to all get better! I am tired of running back and forth to the doctor!! I know God is with us and this will pass! 

Again please keep us in your prayers! 

Hope everyone has a blessed day! 

Apologize!

This morning I woke up and instantly felt bad about my post last night! I want to apologize if I offended anyone! I really hope that I did not come across ungrateful for getting to stay home! I know there are so many out there who would love to be at home, so please do not think I was being ungrateful! I do realize what a blessing it is but I am also human. Just like people who have a job and overtime start taking it for granted because there are so many people out there who would love to have a job even if it is making minimum wage. I sometime get in the same rut taking it for granted that I get to stay home, but trust me God reminds me real fast what my blessings are.

So yesterday I started watching 19 kids and counting! Its about the Duggar family! I am amazed with each episode how they run their family! I LOVE the values they have and it really has made me think about things in our life! I love how they enjoy life with simple things! Their life is not centered around what they wear, tv, social media, and all the other worldly distractions! Life is about being happy, family and most importantly serving God! 

Hudson is sitting here yelling at me so I think that is my que to get off here and give him some attention! :) 

Hope everyone has a blessed day! 

Writers Block!

Well I am pretty sure I have what is called Writers Block!!! Or I have too busy mommy syndrome! Maybe a little of both! :) this really irritates me because I love my blog and I Love to write! I have felt lately that my life is so boring! We get up and basically do the same thing over and over! Kind of reminds me of the movie Groundhog Day! Every once in awhile something exciting might happen like a trip to WalMart(and thats when Matthew can stay home with Hudson)  or we might get a little crazy and go to Jonesboro! Life this winter is going to be tough. We will be inside all the time! I got the call today about the RSV shots for Hudson so I feel like we are on a countdown now until we have to go into hibernation and not get out!! Although its hard at times, I do feel God is teaching me a lesson! To enjoy every minute with my kids and to just slow down! I have always been a "go-getter". If I want something done, I do it! If I need something I go get it. This whole thing has made me slow down and just enjoy the moment. It has kept me from a lot of impulse things that I normally do (shopping, cleaning out and throwing away, etc) I get to just spend so much special time with these boys! What a gift! 

Today was a very LONG somewhat boring day!! It rained all day so there was no getting out at all! At 7:30 this morning I was looking forward to cooking lunch, and then after lunch I was so bored I was counting down the minutes to start supper!! It was a day that we basically laid around all day! Jagger was not feeling 100% and I had not planned ahead for crafts!!!! So thank goodness for NetFlix! Now I am not one who thinks it is good for a child to sit in front of the tv for hours and hours but today all he wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch cartoons! So guess what?? I let him do it! 

Hopefully I can get over the writers block and get back to my old self! Until then you will just have to deal with the same ol boring stuff! :) 

Hope everyone has a blessed night! 

First Time!

Yesterday was Jagger's first visit to the dentist!! I know you are thinking I am horrible and should have already taken him but I did what I could! At least he is going now!! At first he was very nervous because of some silly game he has on the Ipad! On the game you are a dentist and you get to do all the fun stuff( drill teeth, pull teeth, put on braces, whiten teeth) and he loves it but the drilling on the game is a little much! The drill shoots out sparks everywhere! No wonder he was some what nervous about going!! 

I am going to go ahead and admit we have not done our 100% best about brushing and flossing his teeth! We do brush them and use Washmouth ,as he calls it, but if we miss a time I really havent gotten super worried! And Jagger has a SUPER big sweet tooth! And let me tell you Grandma Betty does not help that tooth! :) 

So I have also been alittle worried about going and what they would find! We get to the office and everyone is really nice. Jagger sits in the chair and waits. They finally call us back. He was so brave walking back! Did not even act like he was nervous! The hygentist take him back to the room, he hops in the chair and the next thing I know she was cleaning his teeth!! He loved every minute! He was asking her when they would take pictures of his teeth bones( xrays!). Everything went great but we will have to go back for some fillings! :( when she told me I honestly felt like a failure . I just wanted to cry! I had not done my job to take care of his teeth! She instantly told me it was ok and that they see it all the time! When we got done he got a new toothbrush, floss and a ball! He was excited! After the dentist, we ate pizza and went to Target!! Overall, I would say it was a pretty good first visit to the dentist! 

Hope everyone has a blessed day!!

What I Am Loving Wednesday!

I use to always link up with another blog for What I am Loving Wednesday but it looks like she has not been doing so I am going to do my own!! There are so many things that I have been enjoying and want to share them!
First before I get started..I just want to say thank you for all the sweet people who read my blog. I love when you comment and let me know what you think. It is very encouraging to know I am not in this alone! Last night I got some good much needed rest and guess what? this morning I got to do my quite time and got a load of laundry done!! Wooohoo.. I probably don't need to talk too soon but I was happy!
So here are the things I am loving!!!
* FALL- It is finally fall and I am one happy gal! I would post pictures of my fall decorations but I am not quite done yet! I will post when I finish! I just love all the colors- oranges and reds! Yesterday I made Taco Soup and it was amazing! I am so excited that we are finally to the point we can eat soup, chili and all the other yummy stuff! I even made pumpkin muffins for breakfast!
*The Voice- We really don't watch much TV. 95% of the time our tv is on Disney Jr, or Nick Jr. Matthew and I forget what real tv is.....The two shows that we do watch are Duck Dynasty and The Voice! I love seeing all the talented people!

*Tide Pods- Ok I know detergent is not normally an exciting thing but these make me excited! I have always felt like I waste detergent. I use to hate when I would buy a container of detergent and it says 32 loads, but I would only 20 loads out of it. I think maybe I was getting overboard when I would pour it in. Anyways....I have found a solution- Tide Pods.. I absolutely love these things! I actually get the 32 loads that it says on the package!! Totally worth it in my book!

*Pumpkin Spice Creamer!!!! YAY! I am so happy this finally came out! If you know me or have read my blog for awhile then you know I LOVE my creamer! I almost jumped up and down like a small child when I saw this! and guess what ?? it tastes awesome!!
*Books- I am reading some awesome books! *When I lay my Isaac down- I have already finished but it is totally worth reading!    *Ever After - a book about how our society has made marriage into a fairy tale and our expectations are so high and this is not real life!!  Such a great book!!
*We Win- Last night, Matthew and I were talking about this whole government shutdown thing and all the nasty junk going on in the world and the think that we discussed is that no matter what happens, God Wins!! WE win! In the end, God will win....and this is so comforting during dark times!
*my family- I look around and love seeing Jagger playing while Hudson watches him! I am so blessed to have this family and I can not thank God enough!

What are you loving??? 
Hope everyone has a super blessed day!!

What They Forget To Tell You..

I know it has been awhile but I'm here and happy! I have been needing/wanting to write for a few days but everytime I try something happens that gets in the way! I have really been feeling this way about alot of things here lately! I think the "postpartum" junk is slowly starting to hit me. I feel like in the beginning I had my Supermom cape on and was truly focused on getting in there and making sure we were all going to be ok. Now that everything has somewhat settled, I am truly feeling the pressure and difference of having two kids! I know some of you are reading this thinking, "Pssshh, quit whining and put your big girl panties on, I have got 4 kids and have a full time job!" Well, let me tell you.. If this is you I have tons of respect for you! 

Hudson is 9 months and the last month has been tough on me. I find it funny that we read all these books about the time before the baby gets here, what your body will go through and how to prepare but I think at times we forget to tell people what will happen after that sweet bundle of joy gets here! 

*My first major thing that happened that no one told me about is what I like to call the "c-section walk". If you have had a c-section then you know what I am talking about.. This is something I never want to experience again in my life. I can't explain how horrible this is except the nurses and doctors want you to try and walk the next day after you have been ripped open. I remember laughing and crying in their faces (both times!! And the 2nd time I knew it was coming) When you finally manage to get your body out of bed you feel as though your stitches are going to rip back open! I am pretty sure several times I was holding my stitches telling the nurse they were ripping open and that we should check them! She just laughed....then after you can finally climb in and out of bed you walk bent over like a 100 year old woman with a walker, but you dont have a walker!! Its awful! I am cringing thinking about it. After I got released from the hospital in St. Louis and we moved into Ronald McDonald house, we were coming in from a very late night at the hospital and this man was standing in the kitchen. He saw us and said, " girl you just had a c-section. I can tell by your walk!" We died out laughing! 

Ok so not only do you have the walk but the scar hurts bad or at least mine did. My scar hurts so bad for awhile I did not want anything touching it so what does this mean??? I sent my awesome husband out to buy the largest underwear he could find!!  His face when I ask him was hyseterical.. You want what??? He comes back with exactly what I ask for.....the underwear almost came up to my bra!!! But hey they didnt touch the scar!! 

* next is hormones.....Good Grief the hormones!! With Jagger, he was 1 day old and I am laying in the hospital bed crying because I dont want him to grow up!!!!! Matthew and I laugh now because it was funny! But at the time I am sure he was wondering what in the world is going on. It is unreal to me how a new mom can go from smiling to crying in a matter of 30 seconds! 

I had really thought my emotions were under control.. Wrong? I look back and yes I did cry in St. louis but I think i tucked a lot of it away so that I could be "strong"... Well its hit me now...like I said earlier the last month has been hard on me. I have been having nightmares about everything that happened! I see Hudson the day he coded over and over in my dreams! I wake up gasping for air with tears on my cheeks. I got sick the last time in St Louis when we got close to the hospital... Just alot of weird things! I am not sure if its a combination of hormones and everything that happened is hitting me now or what???

*no more me- I had forgot completely about having a new baby at home. Jagger and I had gotten in an awesome routine before Hudson... Well that is out the door! I was actually laying on the couch earlier telling Matthew that it amazes me how I have no time for anything... I cant seem to get laundry done, I cant seem to get my quite time in, I can't get makeup on, I cant get a shower during the day, and even some days I cant even respond to a text! I know I sound super "complainy" here but its unreal how the day goes and I have no idea what I did but by the end of the day I am exhausted!! The other day I barely had time to put my shirt on because I had a million other things to do... We were about to leave and thankfully I looked in the mirror to see pants with my pj top on!!!??? Tonight I got a shower and it made me feel amazing! I felt like a new woman! And I had a little time alone to breathe! 

* body changes!!! This is a big one for me!!! It was amazing to me how much my body changed after babies!! When I was pregnant with Jagger I seriously had one of every bra size....talk about change!  After I had him and lost the weight, on the scale I weighed less than before I got pregnant but my jeans didnt fit?? I remember being so upset but everything had been moved. My body was different! With Hudson there hasnt been much change but I have had other CRAZY things happen! Several months ago I started loosing hair like crazy! It actually scared me. I would stand in the shower and small animals would come out of my head!! Come to find out I was loosing the hair I had gained during pregnancy!!! And then on top of that my hair looks horrid now. It has started growing all this new hair around my hairline that is out of control! It sticks up. It has wings. It looks greezy! And I am sure it doesnt help that my hair stays in a ponytail 99.9999% of the time!! My kids probably dont recognize me when I actually fix my hair and put on makeup!!! 

I will have to say even though we go through so much, it is totally worth it!!!!! The babies are such a gift and I wouldnt change it for the world. I just thank God everyday that he has allowed me to be a mommy and I just hope that on the days that I am in a slump that I am still being the best I can be... Hope everyone has a blessed night! 

Lots of love