Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Our Lisa!

I never knew a woman named Lisa would come into our lives and forever be a part of it. I never dreamed I would have a forever respect and love for this woman named Lisa until our nightmare began. A NICU nurse is a person you really do not understand until you are put into a NICU.
The day I met Lisa is a day that will forever be in my head, and yesterday going to Cardinal Glennon and getting to see her brought back this forever memory. It was a couple of days after I had Hudson and the hospital was giving me a 2 hour pass to get to see Hudson for the first time. I was physically sick, not only from recovering from a c-section(which if you have had one then you know you feel like your stomach is going to rip open) and then sick from the feeling of having not knowing what to expect when I walk into this hospital to see my baby boy. On the drive over, waves of nausea and tears would flood over me. I would tell Matthew, "I can't do this". He would hold my hand and say yes you can, and at the same time in the back of mind God was telling me, "yes you can". We finally get to the hospital and I get in a wheelchair so Matthew can push me to our destination. This hospital was beautifully decorated. It was so cheerful but that did not cover up all the sick children, scared parents and the doctors and nurses who were working their hardest to take care of these kids. The closer we got the more I was shaking. I wasn't sure what to expect and I truly felt like I was going to throw up. I was mad. This was not right. I should not be coming over to another hospital to see our little boy who I didn't know at the time would make it or not. I was mad because I was separated from Jagger. I was mad because I wanted to still be pregnant at home celebrating "the most wonderful time of the year". We get to the NICU, scrub in and we get to the BLUE hall that we would call home for almost 5 minutes. As Matthew, rolls me down the hall and I look at all the names on each door I was heartbroken and it became so real to me. This is a whole new world I knew nothing about....He pulls me up to the door where Hudson's sweet name was written on a cute door hanger. I set there for just a minute, took a deep breath, and stood up and that is when I met her. Lisa! She was standing in his dark room. She didn't say much at first. I knew something was wrong because there was another nurse in there and everyone was quite. She said we need to talk to you but I want you to see him first...I walked over to his little "box" and instantly fell head over heels in love. He was the most perfect 2.5lb baby I had ever seen. I knew we couldn't touch him but I wanted him to hear my voice. So in between the tears I managed to get out the song Jesus Loves Me! Immediately when I finished she said it was time to talk.....Her and the nurse practitioner started talking to us about how sick Hudson was and how he needed blood transfusion..I needed to sign these papers and his blood gas was this and all this other stuff...I remember the room getting really fuzzy and started spinning. I looked at her and said, "I am going to be sick, I need to sit down"....I sat down in the chair and the flood gates opened. I cried so hard..I couldn't stop. She walked over and put a box of tissues on my lap and said, "Here you are going to need these"! I was so mad at her...Is that all she could say?? We left not too long after that because my time limit. We said our goodbyes and left. On the way to the hospital, I told Matthew that I did not like that lady..She was not nice and I didn't want to see her again......We always laugh at this now because I don't think I was ever mad at her, it was just the situation and she just happen to be the one there!!..Well I can say all that is history and Lisa became my favorite. She became family....She became the woman I trust..She became the woman I cried too. She became the one who I loved because she was honest and always told us how she felt..She became the woman who most importantly took care of Hudson like her own and that is why I will forever love her and call her "Our Lisa"! and not just Lisa but so many other wonderful doctor and nurse who will always be in our heart!! My respect for her and all the NICU nurses is out of this world. These nurses go through so much and they work so hard! I can't imagine having the life of a baby in your hands......Yesterday we got to see Lisa while we were at the hospital and I loved getting to see the smile on her face when she got to see Hudson. What a rewarding thing! God truly blessed us!!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

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