Being Mommy!

Well I am still here! I thought once I got home I would be able to continue the blogging like I wanted...Wrong!! I barely have time to brush my teeth and you would not believe my laundry room- its insane! And Im trying not to forget to sleep! :) so blogging has for sure taken a spot on the back burner! Life at The Cohn household is going pretty smoothly! I actually feel like we are on our own little schedule! We are still having small problems with Jagger! Nothing major but he gets super bored during the days and it is hard for me to spend lots of one on one time with him! It breaks my heart because he wants me to play and we do but our time is limited! There have been a few days the three of us( Two boys and myself) have been in tears when Matthew walks in the door! I am sure he wanted to turn around and go back to work those days! Hudson crying because he wants to be held, Jagger crying because he is bored or wants me to play and I'm crying because I'm tired and cant handle anymore crying!!! I have also been dealing with some inner issues with myself! (Hope this does not make me sound crazy!) i told Matthew the other day I was having some issues with some inner demons and he thought I had lost it! I had to explain to him it was not really demons but things that God and I were dealing with! I also told Matthew he should be proud of me for recognizing them and trying to handle them rather than letting them get the best of me! Its amazing to me how at times when we take things to God, he may not fix them immediately but he will teach you how to handle them! And if you don't learn the right way he will continue to make you go through it until you learn! And let me tell you Satan does not want you to learn your lesson! Now please don't think I am saying all this because I am a bad person or doing bad things! Its not that at all but I think we have to take care of the smaller things(negative thoughts, jealousy, anger, resentment, etc) before they turn into bigger things!

Ok enough about all that!!! I still can not thank God enough that we are all home together and enjoying our time together! Life is so precious and we are beyond blessed! 

Hope everyone has had a blessed day

Lots of love 

Growing Up!!

One of my least favorite things about being a mommy is seeing these babies grow up so fast!! It rips my heart out!! Monday was a big day for us. Jagger had preschool enrollment! I have tears as I type. I can not believe that my baby boy will be starting preschool in the fall! I have always said once they start school they really are not ours anymore! They are ours but you know what I mean.. Its just different!! One of my prayers almost everyday is that when the time comes for me to let Jagger "fly" I would have the strength and courage to let him! As a mom, I want to keep him home with me everyday! I would love to keep him sheltered from the world but I know its not for the best! This is where I turn to God and just hand it to him. I pray that Jagger would be protected and that he would stand strong in his faith! I also pray that Matthew and I are parents that make a difference in our kids lives. I want them to respect and love us in ways that they want to be around us and do what is right! I pray that we are teaching them Christian values that stick with him for their whole life! 

Right now as I am typing this, I am laying the floor watching Jagger play with all of his toys, so sweet and innocent! He has no idea what is in this world! His only worry is having toys to play with, mom and dad to cuddle with and apple juice to drink!! I am trying so hard to bottle up every second with him that I can because I know I am going to blink and he will be graduating! I hope everyone doesn't think I am pyscho mom, butI really struggle with this...I love my babies so much it hurts!! One thing I have learned through the whole Hudson thing is that our babies are never really ours to start with. They belong to God. We all do. I feel he just blesses us with them while we are here!! And oh what an amazing blessing it is!!! 

I guess I just have to realize that each phase of growing up is just another blessing and  since there is nothing we can do about it, we just have to enjoy all of it the most we can!!!

Hudson update- Hudson is doing good.. Eating every 2.5 to 3 hours! The other night was every 2 hours which about did me in!! I was exhausted but we made it through it! He is still on oxygen and our main concern is getting him to put on weight!!! We go back to the doctor in 3 weeks to see if he comes off oxygen or not!!! 

Hope everyone has a blessed night!!! 

Lots of love 

What Would You Do???

What Would you do with 600 million dollars??? I just saw online where the Powerball is up to $600 million! This is absolutely insane! I really don't know where I stand on the lottery and if it is right or wrong (biblically) to play it. I really don't think it is right to spend all your money on it but is buying a $2 ticket every 6 months when it gets up high a bad thing??? Don't know! but Matthew and I do like to think and talk about what we would do with it!!!!
So if I was to win on Saturday night, I really don't know what I would do but I would hope this is what I would do! ;)
First, I would want to get an attorney! I don't think I would want to claim this amount of money out right. I would rather have my attorney claim it so this way we could keep our identity private! I think this amount of money would bring out the crazies!!
Then we would give out to everyone...Matthew and I have always said we would give 90% of it away! We would give to the church, all the charities we like then friends and family!  We would like to build a house but nothing huge. Matthew would like to have a new truck and a ranger for him and the boys to ride!Me.....I don't really care about a new car but I could get one then give my car to family in need. I would also love the be able to give out and help lots of people. I would love to pay for someones college education, take a teenage girl in need on a shopping trip, pay bills for a family in need, build homes for families, and whatever else we feel led to do.
I think it would take alot of prayer to make sure you don't get sucked into the "material" world with this kind of money. I would want to make sure our family stayed humble and that we never lost focus on our Heavenly Father! Yes, it is fun to dream about winning this kind of money but then I am reminded that I am "wealthy". Maybe not money wealthy but I have an awesome family here, a home, health, and my salvation that gives me an eternal home that is worth no amount of money!
So...what would you do with if you won the lottery???? ;)
Hope everyone has a blessed day!!
Lots of love

Figuring It Out!

Being a mommy of two is no easy job!!!! Being a mommy of one is no easy job but when another gets put in the equation it is a whole new ballgame! My respect for people with 2 or more babies is HUGE!!! Here I am almost a month being home and I still have not figured this out! There are days I am barely getting my teeth brushed, let alone getting out of my pjs!??? It seems like everytime I get Hudson settled in, Jagger is needing me and then as soon as we get settled playing or trying to spend time together, Hudson needs me again! Before I know it, it is 6 at night and I still look the way I did when I got out of bed!!????? I am really struggling with this because I am missing my quite time and this is something that has completely been put on the back burner! I pray everyday that God understands. I pray that he helps me to be a good mommy and wife even though I am not spending time with him like I should. I pray that I would continue to have the strength to get through each day! I pray that even though I am home all day everyday I would still bring honor and glory to him!
I hope that I am not the only mom that goes through this and if anyone can give me advise I will gladly take it!!!! I want to learn to balance all this. I want to make sure I am giving Jagger attention. I want to give Hudson what he needs and then also make sure I can not forget myself!! and by this I mean brushing my teeth, putting on clothes and just the normal things that can make you feel better! It is so easy to get in a rut because you are just doing the same thing over and over with never leaving the house! There are days I am even wondering what the point is of putting on normal clothes?? I mean we are not leaving the house!! Please don't think I am being selfish or whining about all of this! I love being a mommy and I feel truly blessed that we are home but I am just needing to get this figured out!! ;)
Tomorrow we go to St. Louis for oxygen appointment. Please pray that we could possibly come off oxygen!!!! HUGE steps!!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!
Lots of Love

Mother's Day!

Mother's Day has always been a super special day especially when I became a mommy! I remember the 1st Mother's Day with Jagger! I felt so special and no one could bring me down off my cloud!! But this year was totally different! There were so many days in the hospital I would cry and ask the nurses if we could please be home by Mother's Day. I knew this was a very hard question/request because they had no control over this, and in my mind I knew this but in my heart I wanted to be home with both of my boys!!! I would tell the doctors and nurse that it would be the best Mother's Day present ever if Hudson could be home! There were also those few very scary times I wasn't so sure! I always in my inner most self knew he would could home but every once in awhile my mind would start acting crazy and during those horrible times I would question whether or not he would! So when yesterday came, I have never been happier!!! It was one of those days that could not have been better! We also made the decision to have Hudson dedicated! Yes , I know you are thinking we arent suppose to take him anywhere!!! Well we prayed and talked about it with the doctors and were told if we walked him straight in stage and then back to car we could! This was something I wanted to do more than anything. We stayed in the car until we knew everyone was sitting down in the sanctuary, then we walked Hudson on stage to be dedicated(lots of tears!!!) and then we went straight to the car and came home! For us, it was so special because it was sort of like an ending to all this madness! To do something we were not sure we would even be able to do! To stand in front of our church and publicly give this baby to God, to dedicate him to our God who has done so much for us and blessed us in so many ways... It was amazing and I dont regret it one bit! 

The rest of the day was spent with both of the boys!!! I could not stop thanking God for letting me be mommy to these two special boys!! 

....and to make the day EVEN better ,Matthew got me diamonds!!!!! He said after all that we had been through he couldn't think of anything better to get! He is such an awesome husband and daddy! 

Hope everyone has a blessed day!!!

Lots of Love

Our day!

We are so happy to be home and after about 3 weeks I think we are finally getting there! I can't hardly wait until he is off all this junk and we can somewhat come and go! Of course we will not be going many places but if we want to go to Matthew's grandmas we can! But we still will not be able to go shopping or go places with lots of people! It is still very critical that he does not get sick..if he does we are in trouble....so the goal is to stay healthy! Anyways, our days are going great but they are full! Here is a peek into what goes on in the Cohn house.....
5:15am- wake up and get Hudson's bottle ready! Run in the kitchen mix the bottle (half breastmilk half formula), stick in the bottle warmer! Around 5:30, he is starting to root around and wake up! I get his diaper changed and then he is ready to eat! It normally takes about 20-30 minutes for him to finish the bottle! We get burped and he is back to sleep(thank goodness!) Once he is done eating, it is time for me to pump, which takes about 15 minutes!
6:30am- try to lay back down! depends on Hudson and Jagger! This morning we got up about 7:30am!
8:15- start getting Hudson's bottle ready! Get Jagger settled on the couch watching Curious George. Also get Jagger's Breakfast ready which consists of Apple Juice and one of the following- Waffle, or Chocolate Sandwich (nutella!)...while this is going on Hudson is starting to get cranky so I am trying to hurry with bottle! I also manage to throw a load of laundry in the washing machine!
8:40- feed Hudson! same routine as 5:15 except this time he stays awake! After feeding, I try and put him down so I can fold the HUGE pile of clean clothes that now takes up the washing machine and dryer (this drives me insane!!!!!! but sometimes you just can't help it) I get about half the load folded and Hudson starts crying! His belly has really been giving him problems so we are trying to deal with this!
9:15- Grandma betty comes over to take Jagger to Mother's Day Out! We get Jagger dressed and by 9:40 they are out the door!
9:40-11 - drink my cup of cold coffee that I have had to warm up several times! finish folding laundry and mind you I am still in my pjs! ;)
11- VNA shows up to check on Hudson! This is great but most of the time he is nice and asleep so we have to make him mad by waking him up so they can do all their stuff!
11:30 - VNA leaves, Hudson finally back asleep, lay him down so I can start on laundry again and get beds made!
12- Matthew home for lunch! Yes!!! I can finally put on clothes! :) Hudson is alseep so we can visit! This also gives me a chance to get the clean dishes put up only to reload the dishwasher with the collection of bottles in the sink!
12;30 - Feeding time!
3:30 - feeding time!  
4:30 Matthew home from work!
5:30- decide on supper or on ballgame nights  we are already at game! If it is a game night, Matthew's mom comes and stays with Hudson...
6:00- try to eat before Hudson is ready to eat!
6:30 Hudson eats
7:30 Trying to do baths around this time! Trying is in very large letters! We are trying our best to get all of us on a schedule..sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't!
9- Jagger is normally asleep by this time and its almost time to feed Hudson
9:30 Hudson eats!
After the 930 feeding we try and get to bed pretty soon because in several hours I will be up again!
1230 Hudson eats
330 - Hudson eats
and then we are back at 5:30am! in between all the feedings, I am pumping and trying to spend as much time with Jagger as I can! I have learned with this one if the bed doesn't get made, its not the end of the world! The sun will come up tomorrow! I am also trying to get alittle bit of sleep when I can and even though at nights it is tough to get up, I feel so blessed that I am getting to get up and feed this sweet miracle! I thank God everytime we get up! and plus I know I will blink my eyes and he will be 4 years old sleeping through the night!
We are hoping and praying that he will not be on oxygen very much longer! I think this will make life alot easier!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!
Lots of Love