Friday, May 25, 2012

Fitting in!!

Do you know what it's like to feel like you never fit it? Some of you may be shocked to read this but this is me!! This is something I have dealt with forever!!! It's hard to explain but it is something that has been apart of me and I'm still learning everyday how to overcome! I grew up an only child and we always lived away from family. I never was around a lot of cousins so I really never had to experience sharing or being apart of a large group. in school, I'm so grateful I had great friends!!(Amy, Sarah, and many others). This helped when I would feel down about grades, talents, etc. I was definitely not the smartest! I did work hard but not hard enough. School was more of a social event for me- which I regret so bad now! I did graduate with honors and even at that I didn't try super hard! I remember being in class right before a test and asking Amy what was going to be on the test!! She was the smart hard working one! I was never really athletic! I did cheerleading until 9th grade and then quit because it was just another expense we didn't need! I did a few pageants in school and loved them but then when it got to where I needed a talent I quit because I didn't have one!! I don't think riding a dirt bike qualifies as a talent! :) once I got into college all I did was work! My senior year my dad was hurt very badly and mom really didn't have time to help with all the college stuff so I really didn't apply for scholarships or anything! I think this is where I really missed the boat! I went to the community college for a year then transferred to the state school. I worked a full time job and was not into school. I never joined a sorority or got involved! I ended up quiting school for awhile then started back up online. Another regret!! When Matthew and I got married, I moved to his town where I really didn't feel like I felt in. The first year was horrible. I felt I had nothing in common with anyone. One day, I was feeling pretty horrible about myself because I had no special career or degree, no talents, I wasn't apart of a sorority or group in college , no social life outside of being a stay at home mom and then it was like God showed me that I didn't need all those things.. That I fit in perfect with him, and that he was so proud of me. Instantly I started feeling better and that is when I got involved in church and it has been a blessing ever since! I love our church so much! It's amazing how we can get so negative about ourselves and start thinking that we need all these "things" to make us who we are but none of that matters! There are days that I do get down for about two minutes and then I am reminded that I am apart of a super special group-I am a child of God!! Im so grateful for the life God has given me. I may not have been the smartest, most talented, or whatever else but I look back now and would go through it all again because it has made me the woman I am today! Its awesome how God works things out for a reason, and while we are going through we don't understand, but when you look back it's totally worth it! I hope this was not a lot of rambling but it's been on my mind!!! Hope everyone has had a blessed Friday!!


  1. Oh girl. I don't know you super well, but you seem pretty great to me :) If I lived in Kennett, we'd definitely be hanging out a lot during the day!

  2. I love you!!!!!!!!

    I know exactly what you mean though, sometimes I feel that way!!!!!!

  3. I know what you mean, too. I've lived here all of my life and there are many times that I feel like I don't fit in. Your right in that we don't need all of those things to make us who we are. The obstacles that I've been through in my life are what has made me the woman I am today and I'm proud of that! I don't know you that well but you seem like a great mother and wife and you have God in your heart! Hey, that's all we need!!!