Sunday, December 23, 2012

Life Changes!'

Life Changes in a heart beat! I have figured out the plans I HAD for our family for the Christmas Holiday were definitely not what God had in mind! It all started on Tuesday! I really have not felt 100 but I have been just "chalking" it up to keeping up with a 3 year old! Matthew was on vacation so we had decided to run to the church and let him practice some music! While we were there i started feeling sick to my stomach but again didn't think anything of it! (If you know me then you know I am not one to just run to the doctor for anything! I am very last minute!) we went to gigi's to eat supper and by the time we got done eating I was really hurting! I kind of knew something wasn't right but in my mind I was telling myself it was gas/indigestion! :) when we got home I spent almost an hour crying and dealing with the pain! All I could do was cry and ask God if I needed to go to the doctor and finally I felt a nudge that said Go! Matthew had been wanting me to go for awhile but I guess God's voice was big enough to cause me to listen! :) and mind you this is 9 at nit so we had no choice but ER which bothers me also! I will do anything to prevent these visits! The sister in laws make it to the house and we get to the hospital. By this time i am in the worst pain and I cant breathe! The admissions got me right up to labor and delivery- thank goodness! Within 15-20 minutes of getting in the room and telling them what was happening, the nurse is coming in telling Matthew and I this is very serious, the doctor is coming in and we will be transferred! Do what? Say that again? Did I hear you correctly? All we could say was , what did you say? She looked at us and said you are very sick and need to be transferred! I immediately go into panic mode and then the doctor comes in. He sits down very calmly on the bed and tells us that I have HELLP syndrome and the only way to fix this is to deliver the baby! Tear start coming.. How can this be? i am only 26 weeks? I instantly close my eyes and go to God and his peace comes over me! I know we are going to be ok! The doctor tells us they are going to airlift me to St Mary's in St louis because they specialize in high risk pregnancy and that we will stay there until baby comes home! My brain can hardly process all they are telling me and in my mind the only thing i can think is Jagger! My baby....i cant leave him, what about christmas? What about birthday, and a million other things!!! But i know in the instant there is nothing I can do so its best to just calm down and deal with the moment! By 3 am I am being put on an airplane and being airlifted to St Louis! When we landed and got in our room i have never been so scared and overwhelmed because basically they thought I would deliver that day but now here we are 4 days later still hanging on strong! I have been diagnosed with Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome! There are no cures for them except to deliver the baby and we will be here until that point! I am on continuous monitors and have an amazing team of doctors who are right at my side! But even better is the presence of God! He has never left me since we flew out of Kennett and I know he is not leaving! Yes I have my moments and the tears come especially when Jagger leaves but I know this in the plan and All i can do is trust him! It has for sure put a different perspective on Christmas for me! Christmas is not at all about presents or anything like that. Its about family and the most precious gift ever, Jesus! I don't want to be here and its not fun but I know we are being used for a greater purpose and that is something that helps me get through it!
Please continue with the prayers. They are needed and know that I love all of you!

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness that is so scary. I will be praying for you. I am sure Jaggar will be spoiled by family, even though I know it breaks your heart. You will have to make an extra special celebration when you get home with your new little guy. Sounds like you have a wonderful attitude toward all this and that makes all the difference. You will get to spend Christmas this year with all your new hospital family.