Isn't amazing how we as humans worry? Its just an automatic thing! I don't think we are even taught it we just do it! Some of us more than others! I have always been a "worrier"! The last several years I have been better and thats because I have learned to give it to God! I have also learned there is no need to worry over things we can't control. I was so bad when I was younger. I would worry about anything and everything.... Gas prices, weather, who the president is, end of the world, just absolutely crazy things that I had no control over! I look back now and think how silly it was but I couldn't help it!
This whole situation with Hudson has really opened up my eyes worry! Talk about worry...this place will make you worry! I have worried about blood gases, heart rate, infections, breathing, hearing damage, eye damage, learning disabilities, Jagger, Matthew, my new friends, money and bills (this one like I never have before!).things I didn't even know were out there to worry about. Some days are way worse than others but I have gotten so much better at stepping back, making sure its something worth worrying about it and then giving it to God. I think its the only way you can make through this or you would go crazy! I tell myself its ok to think about it every once in awhile but to just dwell on it and worry yourself too death will not fix the problem! The money thing has been pretty big deal! Its crazy expensive here and we even eat in the cafeteria and Ronald McDonald but the money for travel and then doctors bill are stupid insane. Everything I think about I am immediately given a peace from God. I always tell myself I'm not real sure how we will do it but I know with him we can! He will take care of us! So even though we know God will take care of it then why do we still tend to worry? What causes you to worry? How do you handle it?
Today has been a good day! Not much going on! We both have rested... Well he rested and I ate chocolate and read my book! :) not sure what his weight is today. We will find out tonight at bath time! He is now on q based feeding. This is where we feed him anytime he is ready! Basically is a series of questions and depending on how he scores that is when we feed him! The questions are something like how awake he is, how much he took at last feeding, etc.. After the last feeding he was almost in a food coma! The nurse and I got a good laugh out of it. He couldn't move he was so full and now he is passed out sleeping well! :) he will not be happy when we wake him for bath!
Hope everyone has a blessed night!
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