A Step Forward...hopefully!

Tomorrow is a big day for Hudson! In the morning, they are going to take out the breathing tube! This is a pretty big deal and I am really nervous about it. He has been doing pretty good the last few days so the doctor thinks its time to give it a try! I am wondering if we should wait but she is the doctor! I am just trusting God to take care of it. I am very happy that my mom is here with me because it is probably going to be a somewhat stressful day! So tomorrow we are definitely going to be needing extra prayers!
My mom flew in today on a 10 seater airplane! Yes, 10 seats! It was a tiny little thing and the weather here is not the best! It has been snowy all day! We feel super special and loved because I know this is not something she would do for everyone! We have had a good day so far since she has been here. We went and ate some yummy food, went to hospital, then came to Ronald McDonald and visited with some of the wonderful people I have become friends with. I am very excited about the relationships I am forming here.
Hope everyone has a blessed night!

Still here!!

Well I am sitting in Hudson's room listening to all his different alarms going off! There is never a moment of silence in this room. When we eventually get to go home we are going to have to buy something that has alot of noise because he will not be able to sleep in a regular room! I have not posted in a few days because I have been totally wrapped up in family! I have enjoyed this weekend so much and today when Jagger left it broke my heart again! I really hope when all this is over I am a stronger person! I still have no idea what God's plan is with all of this but I keep going back to one scripture, James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
I truly believe our faith is being tested, and honestly some days I don't feel like my faith is as strong as it should be. There are days I just want to not get out of bed, i just want to open my eyes and be home and everything be normal but that is not the reality! God has this in his plan for us! Over the last week or so I feel that my "sad" days are not as many! I think I am learning to accept this and know that God is 100% in control and that we are going to be fine! No its not fun and yes our life has changed and will be changed but in the end only good things will come of this!
Hudson has had a couple of pretty "quite" days! Not much is happening. The doctor is really hoping he will start progressing more off the ventilator. The longer he is on a ventilator the more risk for damage to his eyes, lungs and many other things! We also got news that we will probably be here until around Mother's Day! Yes, that is in May!!!! Not what we were wanting to hear. He was born so young and with the set back from the pneumonia his lungs will need extra time and work! But I keep telling Matthew and the nurses God CAN perform miracles and we could be out of here before then!! So everyday my prayer is for this miracle!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Too Cold!!!

It is just insanely too cold here!! I like cold weather but this is just too much for my body! Today the high has been 18 and its suppose to starting sleeting and all that junk later tonight! Blah... Not fun!
The last few days have been good. Mrs. Janet came and stayed which was wonderful! We had a great time visiting and Hudson enjoyed listening to her stories! :) I am already ready for her to come back, although I am REALLY ready to see my two other boys tomorrow! I can't hardly wait to put my arms around them!
Hudson has had a pretty descent last few days! Last night was a little scary because he was having some low numbers. This morning because of the low numbers and high gas they decided to change out his tube and when they do this they have to basically put them under, and there is alot of risks of damaging the vocal cords! So it really made me sad and nervous but he did great. She said it was very fast and went smoothly so we should have nothing to worry about! Easy for her to say, huh? But he is doing better since they put in the new tube! He is getting to take breastmilk again. He had to be off of it for a few days because of the blood transfusion but they put him back on and he is doing well with it. We haven't done much today except read bible stories! Mrs. Janet got Hudson a really cool bible so we have been reading from it. It is so sweet because he starts grinning while I'm reading! My boy already know this is the best book!
Hope everyone had a blessed day!

Be Strong!

These are the words my now 4 year old little boy was telling me when he left today. Be a strong girl momma! I will give you one guess if I was strong or not??? Not! When your baby boy is telling you bye and when I start tearing up and he says, "I love you so much momma, but try and be a strong girl" this will make any mom lose it- or at least this mom! We had such a good time this weekend! I have a love/hate relationship with these kind of times! Of course I love being around everyone, but when they leave and its over I hate it. This will be the 1st time in a month I will be here by myself and for two whole nights! Wow! Just Hudson, God, and myself! Hudson and I will read, sleep and maybe eat alot! He is only getting 10cc of milk every 3hours so maybe I will be the one doing the eating!
Jagger is changing so much! Its killing me. Everytime I see him he gets taller and has learned something new! I think I held him the whole time he was here! I hope he doesn't get tired of it. We laid in bed together, told stories and laughed! As much as it stinks to be here we are making some sweet memories together. We always hold hands now no matter what. He can't let go, and I can't let go. i just love those sweet hands! I sit here sometimes and try to imagine all this through his mind. His world got completely turned upside down and back again. How do you explain all this to a 3 year old? I mean really he has had his mommy taken away from him. I can only hope and pray this is something that he will long forget when we get home and we can make up the lost time!
Hudson has had a quiet day! His doctor is really wanting to see more progress with antibiotics. The longer he is dealing with pneumonia and the infection in his trach the more damage it does to lungs! So its time to start praying for this to go away fast! We got to hold him again night before last and it was so sweet! He loves being held by his daddy! I can't wait to hold him again!
Well time to spend time with my sweet Hudson!
Hope everyone had a blessed day!

1 Month!

At 3am I will have officially been in St. Louis for a month!! This absolutely blows my mind!! I am a Southern girl! I am not suppose to be here in the north where it is freezing cold! Even though it is freezing I will have to say I am starting to see how people love the city! Everything is so convenient. You wanna go to Target? Ok lets go to Target! You wanna eat somewhere awesome? Ok lets eat something awesome! I mean everything is right here! I have been like a kid in a candy store! Don't worry, Kennett, you have my heart and as soon as the doctor gives us ok, we are out of here but until then why not enjoy!!
I never in my life would have dreamed we would be going through this! It is amazing to me what we have seen God do in a month! I can wait to see what he still has in store for us. I was also telling Matthew the other day I would have never pictured myself strong enough to go through this. I have also been a very scared, nervous, anxious, worried person, but for some reason through MOST of this God has given me peace like never before. And when I capitalize MOST that means that there are times I feel like I cant go on, like I am not strong enough to do this, but then I am reminded that God is with me and its ok! I feel like I can't be super MOM all the time! I mean our life has been turned upside down and completely changed! I deserve a moment every once in awhile, right?
As for Hudson today, he had an ok day! He was acting up this morning! I got the dreaded phone call from the hospital, which when I see it pop up my stomach immediately starts cramping and I feel sick. I answer and Margaret our Nurse practitioner tells me that his blood gas levels are not good and they did a X-ray of chest and lungs and it was not good. They were not sure what was causing them to not be good so they were going to run alot of tests! During rounds, Dr. Anderson explained the situation and said that she wasn't sure what was going on that is why they are running all the tests. We wont get the results for 48 hours so we will just wait and see. Tonight when we left he had already improved from this morning, so hopefully they can figure out what was causing his numbers to go crazy and fix it!
Matthew is finally back with me. I wanted to cry when I saw him. I know it was a combination of the stress from this morning and then I have missed him like crazy!!! I love my husband so much! He is a truly amazing man! I am super blessed to have him in my life!
Hope everyone has a blessed night!

Grateful!

We are so blessed to have such an amazing family. Matthew and I have probably taken for granted how amazing our family is but all this has made me truly appreciate them and thank God for them everyday! It amazes me how God can put you in a situation and it completely changes your prospective of everything. Matthew went home for a few days so his sister Claire came up and stayed with me. We had a great time together and its nice for me to have someone here. It can be very scary here and sometimes you just need a body with you. She went home this morning so this is the first time in a month I have been alone. I wont be alone for long because mom and dad are coming up tonight and then Matthew will be here tomorrow.
Today I am just hanging out in Hudson's room. I cant keep my eyes off of him except for when I am cat napping :), which happens often. I swear his room puts me to sleep. I am thinking its because the lights are always dim and I am just sitting here! I am on my 3rd book. I started with Duck Dynasty- it was awesome! Then I read Mike Huckabee's new book. It was so cute. He wrote the book for his grandkids, and now I am starting Gabrielle Douglas's book (she is the gymnast from the olympics!) my days are completely full of pumping, doctors, writing scriptures, reading, and of course eating! The doctors and nurses laugh at me because all we talk about is food! You know I love food and I want to know where all the good places are to eat!
The doctors just came and did rounds and our little guy is up to 2 lbs 14.9 ounces! This makes us happy! He is now taking 20cc of breastmilk every three hours! He is still getting calories and other vitamins in his iv but they are slowly taking that a way and he will be on straight milk. His numbers today are low but they are just having to adjust the ventilator to find what makes him happy! He is still on antibiotics and they say that the junk coming out of his lungs is looking better, its not yellow anymore. He had a head ultrasound done yesterday and there is still blood but it is breaking up. They will check him again in a few weeks. I also got to hold him last night. He does awesome when I hold him. His numbers and temp are perfect, so that means he LOVES being held! I cant wait when he is out of this dumb ventilator and we can hold him whenever. Hopefully that day will be soon!
Jagger is doing great! Of course he is being spoiled like crazy! He wont know what to do when we come home and he has to stay with me! :) i miss my little boy like crazy! I just hope he knows how much I love and miss him!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Has This Happened?

Has This All Really Happened to us? This a question that I have asked myself daily. It actually still shocks me that we have gone through this and are still going through it. It feels like a movie! Have you ever gone through something and not truly process it until its over. That has been me. I think the last couple of days finally talking about it with Hudson's nurses and Claire have truly opened my eyes to what we have been through so far.
I never realized the severity of my situation. Yes, I know I was airlifted. Yes, I know I had teamS of doctors( and yes I capitalized the s on purpose) but it has never hit me how severe this whole thing was. Bottom line is I could have died! It was bad enough the doctors were asking Matthew which life do we save, Megan or baby. Matthews answer, " I can't loose Megan" and yes I have tears in my eyes right now. I am sure I drive you all crazy with all the crying but yes we do cry alot. Hopefully one day that will pass. I remember Dr. Perez before I was about to get airlifted and he had just told us our baby had a 20% chance of living that I was awfully calm. The only answer I had was God. If God was taking me from this earth I knew where I was going. My heart breaks for Matthew and what he went through. I know he was scared out of his mind. Now that we are getting close to being in St. Louis a month, its obvious God has more work for us here on this earth. I am grateful for each day he blesses me and my family with because I know we are not guaranteed tomorrow or even the next 30 minutes. I don't know God's plan with our family. I do know it's something awesome. I do know that we are going to have an awesome story to tell. I do know that my Hudson is a sweet miracle with a journey ahead that we can and will conquer!
Today has been another quiet day. You will learn that we like quiet days! Hudson has gained some more weight. He is up to 2lb 13 ounces. All of his numbers were not great today but doctor said that is just from pneumonia. Hopefully the antibiotics will do the job and kill that junk out. As for big brother, he is enjoying some daddy time. Matthew went home for a couple of days to get some things done. I think all they have done is play. I am sure Jagger is stuck to Matthew like glue. I miss Jagger so much each day. I feel like I am missing out on so much with him. I can't wait to wrap my arms around him and just hold him!
Time to get some sleep!
Hope everyone has a blessed night!
Love yall

Better Days!

I'm so happy because yesterday and today have been better days! Its about time! We truly understand what everyone was telling us when they said two or three days forward and a couple of days back! And trust me those couple of days back are not fun! I am tired of crying. I am ready for normal. I think God has been dealing with me over the last few days because I have been moping around feeling sorry for myself and then boom we have met three families that have it worse than we do! And when I say worse I mean we dont even come close to what they are dealing with! These are wonderful people and I am so happy God has brought us into each others lives! One family has a three year old who is dying of a very rare form of cancer and the wife is pregnant about to have a baby any day. One lady delivered twins at 24 weeks, lost one 12 hrs later. The baby that survived has had 4 emergency surgeries and they have been here over 100 days! The other girl has a little boy who has the rarest form of leukemia. It breaks my heart. I have my moments and then God reminds me of these families. Isnt it funny how you meet others and that makes you more appreciative of your situation?
So Hudson has had two pretty good days. Not much change. They say the antibiotic is helping bc they are seeing improvements! He came off the bili light again! I love when he is off the light because we can actually see him! He looks so much like Jagger except he has black almost curly hair!   He is up to 2 lbs 9 ounces so we finally are gaining weight! Today I got to help change his diaper, give him a bath( 1st time!) and then I got to hold him! The only reason I got to hold him was because they were changing his bed out so God blessed me with this! I was there at the right time! The rest of the day was pretty uneventful! I got caught up on some much need sleep!
Hope everyone has a blessed night!

Birthday Weekend!

Wow! What a weekend we have had! I had actually planned on blogging each day of the weekend but I am now some what getting use to my plans being changed! As you can see I did not blog any this weekend so I will play catch up.
Friday- Gigi, Pa, Aunt Claire and Jagger came up. Jagger's birthday was on Thursday but we all told him it was Friday so he would think Matthew and I was with him on his day! We were so excited to see our guy! I actually got up, took a shower and straightened my hair and wore JEANS! Two things I havent been able to do in almost a month. There are so many little things I will never take for granted again(thank you God for making me aware of these things)! It was so cool because the Ronald McDonald house put a birthday sign on our door and left Jagger a St. Louis cardinals blanket, a build a bear puppy, and a game for his birthday! We of course told him it was from Ronald himself! He thought that was the coolest thing ever! So when they got here we let Jagger open present from Matthew,Hudson and I. After presents it was time for lunch then to the Arch! We decided to eat at the Cheesecake Factory! Jagger was disappointed that were not machines everywhere making cheese! :) oh well the food was amazing and once we finished our real food Jagger told us he wanted a piece of that cheese pie they make! He keeps us cracking up! Well it wad finally time for the Arch! I have never been in the Arch and honestly the closer we got the more nervous I got- plus Matthew kept telling me that the small elevator we ride in would lean on its side going up and once we got to the top I would feel it sway back and forth! In my mind I am thinking,"and why are we bringing our 4 year old to this?", but this is what he wanted to do for his weekend! We get inside and get to our elevator! It is this teeny tiny little box and we are suppose to squeeze all 6 of us in this thing and ride for 4 minutes 630 feet in the air!!!! What are we thinking???? But we do and make it to the top! It was so neat!!!!! We all enjoyed it until we are ready to come down and Matthew's phone rings.....I knew immediately who it was, the hospital! We were in the process of getting back in the elevator to head down while he is trying to listen. The phone service kept going in and out. That was the longest ride down ever! I was sick! By the time we got to the bottom I was starting to panic! I was just ready to leave and head to hospital! All Matthew had heard on the phone before he lost service was infection, spinal tap and thats all! We were all sick! Jagger was so mad at us when we left him at the Arch with Gigi and Pa! I understand why! This was his birthday time and mommy and daddy are having to leave! I cried the whole way to the hospital. When we get there the nurse practitioner and Hudson's awesome primary nurse, Lisa are there ready to talk. They explain to us his gases were through the roof, he is not breathing well, he has an infection, they need us to sign consent forms to do spinal tap, we need to sign papers to give him more blood, and then explaining all the bad things that COULD happen. I couldn't take it any more! I sat down in the rocking chair and bawled my eyes out. I cried because of my baby being sick and then having to leave my baby on his day! The nurses were so sweet. They just stood there and told me to just cry and get it out! After I finally got calmed down and we got everything signed Matthew and I went and sat in the parents waiting room so they could do what they needed to. After about 15 minutes they came and got us and told us to come back to his room, the doctor would be in. Dr. Anderson came in and explained that all the tests that they ran would confirm what he had but they wanted to start antibiotics immediately. She also tells us the tests will not come back until the morning so we should leave and try to get some rest! Trust me.. much easier said than done, but we finally leave and go get some rest! It was the first night in a month that I slept in the same bed with Matthew and Jagger! It was a great way to spend my night!
The next morning when we get up we call to check on Hudson and are happy to hear that he is already improving. His gases went down and so far the tests that had come back were negative. After that report we felt it would be safe to spend time with Jagger. Cracker Barrel for Breakfast! Yummy! My pancakes were so good! Im seriously going to have to start watching what I am eating around here! After Cracker Barrel, it was time for The Magic House! The Magic House is this HUGE children's museum! There are tons of super awesome exhibits! We stayed there for 3 hours, if not longer! Jagger would have stayed all day! We will for sure be going back there! Once we got done at the magic house, it was time for a nap before the hospital! The nap was amazing and much needed! I am doing really well recovering but I have to watch myself! I am bad about over doing it and then I am struggling. My whole body was hurting after a full two days of lots of walking! Saturday night was nothing special! Matthew and I stayed at hospital until bed time then we went to the hotel and crashed! Matthews mom let us stay in the hotel so Jagger could swim and they stayed at Ronald McDonald in our room! We have the best family in the world!
Sunday morning I was dreading. I actually fell asleep crying and holding Jagger. I just did not want them to leave. It was a fun weekend that I didn't want to end! I'm so happy that God is with me all the time because I don't think I could make it through all this without him!

4 Years!!

Well I am just going to go ahead and start by saying I cant stop crying! Yes thats right, and its a good thing the Ipad has a screen protector on it because the tears and snot are all over it (not really..i have already cleaned it) and this is not over Hudson. Its over my sweet Jagger! I keep telling myself this is ok because in the Bible Jesus wept, so its ok for me! Today is Jagger's 4th birthday! I can not believe my sweet blue eyed boy is 4! Where have the years gone? Through this whole situation I feel that I have handled everything pretty well but honestly tonight I am upset! I am angry. I am suppose to still be pregnant and at home. Tonight I would be blowing up a ton of balloons and putting them in his room so when he woke up it would be balloons galore ( thank you pinterest!) but Im not! Im sitting in St Louis watching and praying over Hudson! I know I am being selfish but it kills me I can not even hug my baby boy on his Birthday! No hugs, no cake, no presents..nothing! As I sit here, I know this is all in God's plan and believe me when I get to Heaven this will be the first thing I ask him about! :)
Again I know Im just being selfish because Jagger is coming up on Friday so we can celebrate but I just need to vent and feel sorry for myself! Of course right now there is no other place I want to be than here beside Hudson because as a mommy thats what I need to do! He needs me right now, but I am ready for all this to be over so we can be a family together at our home!
Hope everyone had a blessed day!

Finally!!!!

We have been waiting for this day for 14 days...well actually about 6 months (when we found out we were pregnant!) So today we finally got to HOLD him! Yay God is good! I had so many emotions going waiting on the chance to get my hands on him. I was nervous, anxious, sad, and super happy! I know you are wondering why I had these feeling but I just did! I was nervous because I have never held a 2lb baby with tons of wires and tubes! Its very nerve racking, and the funny thing is we were nervous with Jagger and his almost 10lb self! This is a whole new ballgame for us! I was anxious because they had told us last night we could hold him but then we couldn't so I was more than ready! I was sad because this is not how I wanted the first time I hold my baby to be like! I would have LOVED for his big brother to be there to see him and hold him, but again not the plans God had for our family! I was super Happy... Well I don't have to explain this one :)
The experience for Matthew and I was so special that I didn't want it to end! We got to do the skin on skin( this is where we take our shirt off and they put baby directly on our chest!) this is also called Kangaroo care! Its highly recommended for preemies because it helps them gain weight, promotes higher temps, regulates breathing and plus what baby doesn't like to be cuddled by mommy and daddy! Its just makes everything better!
The last day or so has been good! Grandma Betty, Pa Don, Aunt Claire and Jagger came up to visit! We were so happy to see them! We love our family so much it hurts! We are truly blessed to have wonderful family! I had my doctors appointment at 9 in the morning and they were here a little after lunch! Doctor said I looked great and that I am done with blood pressure meds! That made my day! And also we laughed because they weighed me for the first time since before I had little guy! I weighed 160 the morning I had him and at the doctor I weighed 122! Wow. That is how much fluid and other junk I had inside of me! So anyways, once They got here we went and grabbed some lunch! Our new favorite place here in St Louis is Panera! We love the food and of course the dessert! Yummy! After lunch we came back to Ronald McDonald and did Christmas presents! Yes, Christmas presents! We still had not opened presents from Grandma so she brought them up! We had a lot of fun! Next it was off to the hospital! This is always hard with Jagger because he doesn't understand why he cant go see his brother and it breaks my heart! I just cry with him! I know the day they finally see each other it is going to be one special moment for us! The rest of the night was pretty boring. Matthew and Jagger stayed at the hotel with Pa Don, Claire stayed with me at Ronald McDonald, and Grandma decided she wanted to stay with Hudson! Lets just say the nurses this morning said she didn't get any sleep because every time one of the machines beeped-which is alot-she was up asking if her grandbaby was ok! I know Hudson was glad to have her there!
Today when they left it was hard on me! Jagger kept asking me when I was moving home! All of this has been hard but I think this is one the hardest things! All I can do is hold the tears back tell him I love him and we will be home soon! Then the minute he walks out the door I cry like a baby! The rest of the day Matthew and I spent with Hudson! It was a quite afternoon/night which we like!
Praying for some good sleep tonight!
Hope everyone had a blessed day and night!
Love you all
Megan

9 Days!!!

Well I cant believe Hudson has been in Cardinal Glennon for 9 days almost 10, and yesterday he was 29 weeks! Wow!! Its weird because at times I feel like time is creeping by but then it feels like just yesterday I was being airlifted! Unreal! I have been meaning to post the last day but everytime I get started something comes up- exhaustion, doctors meetings, nurses in and out, standing and watching Hudson, eating, praying, and pumping milk( and yes, i officially feel like a cow! The nurses are super proud of me! The amount of food they give him each day is so tiny! They laugh and say i already have a 3 month supply! Even though its not fun and i do feel like a milk cow, i will do it until the "cows come home" for my sweet baby! )
Momma, dad, and Jagger have been with us the last several days and it has been nice! I cant hardly let go of Jagger! I think that is another thing that is so hard is missing him and then being here! It rips our heart out, but we know for now we have to be with Hudson, and we are so blessed that Matthews family can help with Jagger! Yesterday just to get out and clear our head we went to Bass Pro! I find it funny the only places we have been are Target, Cabelas and Bass Pro! I think the guys are winning this one! Oh well at least they are happy! After we got done with Bass Pro we grabbed something to eat and went back to the hospital! Everyone has been telling me that I will eventually get use to everything in the NICU and yes we are learning so much but no I will not get use to it! My heart breaks every time I walk in and see his tiny body laying there hooked up to so many wires and tubes! I cry almost every time and then sometimes when I am not there I cry-like now! My routine is right when I walk in the room and put my stuff down, I immediately pray over him! I put my hand on the incubator and pray. I don't care who is around or what they think! I know it works and it helps! Then I reach in and tell him Mommy is here and how much I love them. After that I fill him in with what is going on! I really think I have seen him smile when I talk about Jagger and farming! :)
Last night was scary for me. They finally took the ventilator off. I know he felt much better because they took all that stuff out of his mouth and now he just has a cpap! Cpap is just the tube in his nose! I was very nervous because this is a big step! I know it had to be done because he has been breathing so well on machine but I don't want him to struggle! After we left the hospital i called several time to check on him! This morning when we got there the doctor came in and several thing were a little out of whack and immediately I start to panic but then the doctor reassures me its fine, this is normal because he is getting adjusted to new machine! This made me feel much better! The rest of the day has been good! I have been kind of been down and its not for any reason! I am happy to be in bed and hope to get some sleep tonight.
Hope everyone has a blessed night!

Exhausted!!

Do you ever get so exhausted you feel like your whole body is just going to stop functioning!? This how I felt yesterday. My body and brain were just tired! It is amazing how much information we are taking in everyday.. All the terms, stats, etc.. Its pretty much overwhelming but I do feel like God has opened up our minds so that we have caught on quickly! Several times a day we are have a nurse or nurse practitioner that goes over how he is doing! Everyone is so awesome about explaining EVERYTHING to us. They do not let anything happen without telling us, and we are truly grateful for that!
Yesterday was a pretty quite day, which we like! The nurses have given us some super advice. Don't let your highs be too high and your lows be too low! It has finally hit us that we are going to be here for at least two months, so we best make the most of it! We are in for a very long journey but I know we are going to be ok! I just feel it! God is constantly talking to me and comforting me. Satan has had his moments with me too and its not cool!
Yesterday Matthew and I were so happy because GiGi and Pa brought our sweet Jagger up to be with us! i just wanted to cry when I saw him! We have missed him so much it hurts! I just pray that this separation does not affect him! I pray everyday that he knows how much we love him. When they got here Matthew and I had been at the hospital so we went to eat some lunch and then off to where else BUT Cabela's! Wwwoooohhhooo! The boys were all super excited! When we got there we found me a wheelchair and Jagger decided he would sit with me! It felts so good to hold my sweet boy! I didn't want to let him go! We had a really good time and it was nice to just get out! After that we came back to Ronald McDonald and just hung out! Another awesome thing was that my mom and dad came up! I was super happy to see them also! I have missed them very much too! All of our family has been great support! Matthew and I thank God for them everyday, several times a day. I cant imagine going through this without them! Once we finally got everyone settled we all kind of went our own ways! Jagger and Matthew went and spent the night with GiGi and Pa at the hotel. Jagger was so excited about getting to swim, so while they went that direction my mom, dad and I went to the hospital to spend some quality time with Hudson! He was so sweet! They had him all bundled up laying on his side and he was sleeping so peaceful! I cant hardly wait to hold him! I just stand at the ventilator and cry because he is so precious! I just feel helpless and wish there was something I could do!
After being there for several hours we decided we were hungry! It is very hard for me to leave him at night but I know he is in good hands! We ran to Target (i have always LOVED Target but it has become our best friends since we have been there. I seriously think we have been every single day!) and then got something to eat! By the time we were done eating I felt like I had been beat up! My body hurt I was so tired, and it actually did hurt from the surgery ( it was definitely time for meds) we got back to Ronald McDonald and it took no time for us to be asleep!
I am praying we have another quite day!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

One Day At A Time!

Well we are finally out of the hospital. hallelujah!!!!!!!! I have never been so happy to leave somewhere. After 12 days of being in a room you start to go stir crazy! Now saying that, I really had a hard time saying bye to my nurses and doctors. They were all so AMAZING!!!! I can not thank God enough for putting these wonderful people in my life!
We are now trying to get settled in our Ronald McDonald house. Its not home but its a great place to be! We are surrounded by other families who are going through something similar! We have already met some really wonderful people and I know we will meet many more!
Hudson is 7 days old today! Wow a week has gone by fast! I don't know what day it is and we have been exhausted! Our minds are just fogged over! Matthew and I were talking last night about how all this has felt like a movie we are in, and there are times I still think I will wake up and this is all a dream! We have a long journey ahead of us and I am trying to remain positive but there are times my emotions cant handle it and the tears come like none other! We are just trying to take everything one day at a time.
Well I am going to get off here and enjoy time with my husband and sweet Hudson!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!